Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Assume a hemispherical cow.

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Analgesic socks

For aching feet
  [vote for,

Now from BorgCo, the new range of specialised foot garb; these ultra-comfortable socks incorporate tiny pneumatic bladders, non-return valves, a reservoir built into the hemline, and a network of porous capilliaries distributed over the foot.

Fill the reservoir with the patent compound of menthol, ibuprofen, alcohol and deodorant. The more you walk, the more of the cooling, soothing gel is pumped into your socks.

Available soon from a piano-tuner near you; refuse all substitutes, non genuine without the Cube symbol on the colostomy bag. Ask for it by name where you see the sign. If you don't see the sign, well, you should have read the warnings about overdosing.

8th of 7, Aug 30 2012

A pair of those would go great with this... No_20Pain_2c_20No_20Drain_20Body_20Armor
[normzone, Aug 30 2012]

Captain, I Think There May Be a Problem In The Engine Room Sock_20Pocket_20Pants
Perhaps you could add a warning on the label that clearly states these are NOT the socks you should stuff into your Sock Pocket Pants if you want to impress your date at the end of the evening... [Grogster, Aug 31 2012]

Hallucinogenic_20Su...f_20Verruca_20Socks [calum, Aug 31 2012]


       Throw in some morphine and I'd buy it.
blissmiss, Aug 30 2012

       Can I have the shoulder version of these? I've destroyed my right shoulder somehow.....
xenzag, Aug 31 2012

       This may explain why the sock puppets suddenly drop out of the box mid performance... [+]
Grogster, Aug 31 2012


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