Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Anti-Urinating Sprinkler System

Give them a taste of their own medicine (or piss)
  (+6, -3)
(+6, -3)
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There's a doorway - well it's bigger than a doorway - more of a covered parking space - near my office, and every morning when I walk past it my olfactory senses are assaulted by the foul smell of urine. This is due to the fact that there is a pub 20 metres away. I don't need to go into any more detail.

I propose a system which not only detects when someone enters the area, but also detects when 'fresh' urine enters the (newly installed) gutter system.

The urine is fed through the gutter, pumped up to ceiling height, and then stored in an air-tight tank. Once an offender has been detected, the sprinkler system attached to the tank is activated, and the culprit is treated to a 'golden shower'.

Admittedly, at first this system would actually make the area smell even worse, but once people start to realise that this system is in place, they will not use it as a toilet any more.

Signs could be displayed stating that "This building is protected by an anti-urinating system". Fake signs could be used in situations where the actual installation would be too costly.

It would be called something Schwarzeneggeresque like "THE URINATOR".

jtp, Jan 16 2007

Hugo Williams http://edonn.com/archives/2005/09/toilet/
"Toilet" [normzone, Sep 09 2007]

[link]






       There's a danger that this would be a magnet for people with strange sexual fetishes.
hippo, Jan 16 2007
  

       There's a poem like that. It's called Toilet by Hugo Williams.. But it's set on a train, and, regretably (apologies for the spelling), doesn't involve an Anti-Urinating Sprinkler System... which is a disappointment one must admit. +
deoxyribonucleic, Jan 16 2007
  

       i thinK you should make an 'official' looking sign like you mentioned, and put it to the test!
eurospike, Jan 16 2007
  

       I reckon you just put a gutter grating on or in the floor and electrify it with an electric fence power supply. Although, i must admit I love the way that this idea fights piss with piss!
webfishrune, Jan 18 2007
  

       I've had to read this a few times over several days to decide I like it. I'm disturbed and kinda grossed out by it, but I think it's a good idea all the same.
Noexit, Jan 18 2007
  

       Would/should it differentiate human urine from, say, domesticated animals? What about wild animals?
ed, Sep 11 2007
  

       [ed] - installing PIR motion detectors would get round this - they can usually differentiate between humans and smaller beings such as dogs.
jtp, Sep 11 2007
  
      
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