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Anti bear sombrero

wear hats and stop bears with them
  [vote for,

The large rim of this sombrero would contain titanium hoops knit together with kevlar thread. Upon seeing a bear the user would unclip the hoops , allow them to fall about him forming a cage, and then use a drawstring to close and lock the bottom.

The hoops could absorb energy from batting, would be too large and unwieldy for the bear to get his mouth around, and would be too strong for the bear to open.

Voice, Apr 16 2014

Beer sombrero http://little-blvck...om/post/55197982213
[normzone, Apr 16 2014]

Anti-bear airbed Anti-bear_20airbed
Refuse all substitutes. [8th of 7, Apr 16 2014]

Anti-bear Suit http://www.nfb.ca/film/project_grizzly/
Project Grizzly, a documentary about Troy Hurtubise's lifelong work on making a bear-proof suit [Frankx, Sep 23 2019]



       Even with the lightest tempered titanium I cannot envision this weighing less than thirty pounds, but a thirty pound hat is a paltry annoyance in comparison to an afternoon's mauling. Bears like to play with their food.
Alterother, Apr 16 2014

blissmiss, Apr 16 2014

       This would be good for an ad. After flailing away fruitlessly at the encaged one, the bear stumps off in a huff and glares at the sombrero clad hiker. Hiker smiles smugly. Clouds gather and thunder rumbles. Hiker looks up apprehensively. Bear grunts smugly.
bungston, Apr 16 2014

normzone, Apr 16 2014

       I have a feeling that the bear would end up flattening the entire arrangement with you in it. Can you post a video on youtube showing the results? I actually like this idea a lot. Totally halfbaked, and a natural double croissant from me. [+ +] (I think I'm one of the few who get to award double croissants)
xenzag, Apr 16 2014

       You might be able to roll downhill faster than a bear can run.   

       I have to point out that I have never encountered anyone who has survived a bear attack by means of such a device.   

       A better solution, shirley, is to always be at places where bears are not. There are many such places, many of them quite agreeable.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 16 2014

       Indeed. We commend to your attention the latest BorgCo anti-bear product, which so far has a 100% success rate.   

8th of 7, Apr 16 2014

       An ingenious solution, but totally impractical - no civilized man can sleep on an airbed.
MaxwellBuchanan, Apr 16 2014

       Didn't you mean //no civilized man can sleep in Australia//?
pocmloc, Apr 17 2014

       Since there are no civilised humans in Australia, what you say is literally correct, [poc].
8th of 7, Apr 17 2014

       Baiting Unabubba again huh?
blissmiss, Apr 17 2014

       Always ... him, and the kangaroo he rode in on ...
8th of 7, Apr 17 2014

       Would a Challenger II main battle tank be considered bear proof? Only, on my forthcoming camping trip I'd prefer to be prepared. I was shopping for a vehicle, and it seems to tick all the boxes, I only assume that the locals are buying pickup trucks and carrying separate small guns out of some misguided attempt at tradition. Is a 120mm a good deer hunting/bear defense gun? Will I still need to put my food in a tree? Will I need a separate camping stove? Or could I slum it using a combination of the kettle/exhaust manifold?
bs0u0155, Apr 17 2014

       By all means get the Challenger, but don't take it camping.   

       For that you want a pickup or a jeep, doesn't need crazy huge tires if you drive sanely, tie your food up in a tree or take it into the tent with you at night. Piss in a few places around your campsite, not too close, and don't spill any food, pour out any grease, or leave any dishes or packaging out. If you do all that and the bears still come snuffling around, shout at them and shine your flashlight. Any bear that doesn't head for the hills when you do that will shit itself if you fire a gun into the ground. I recommend a .38 in the east, .44mag in grizzly country. Go with a revolver because it's ready to fire in a heartbeat and if the bear really is determined to kill you (an exceedingly rare scenario) you've still got five more shots to put the bear down. Don't miss with the first four.   

       If you do all that and still have trouble with bears, try camping in Africa. Lions are pussies compared to bears.
Alterother, Apr 17 2014

AusCan531, Apr 18 2014

       Wait...does that imply sobriety or somber ?
normzone, Apr 18 2014

       A real anti-Bear suit [link]. Troy Hurtubise spent a large part of his life trying to build and test one. The Film Board of Canada made a documentary (directed by Peter Lynch).
Frankx, Sep 23 2019

       This anti-bear sombrero is great in theory, but I don't think you'll get a wild bear to wear one.
MaxwellBuchanan, Sep 23 2019


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