Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Expensive, difficult, slightly dangerous, not particularly effective... I'm on a roll.

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Bar stool commode

Make yourself comfy for an evening's uninterrupted drinking without ever having to go to the loo.
  (+1, -5)
(+1, -5)
  [vote for,

Speaks for itself really. I suppose another, more discreet but male only option would be a tube, which could be popped through a drinker's flies and connected to his member for the duration of the drinking session. Such tubes could be arranged along the front of the bar, for easy access.
nononoyes, Jun 23 2005


       This was baked here (Mexico) decades ago. Since women were not allowed inside "cantinas", most of them had, just underneath the bar, some sort of cannal or acueduct looking thing where men could pee into without even leaving their drink unattended. It smelled bad all over, obviously, but when has that stopped anybody from drinking?   

       Of course, with all this female revolution, only a couple of these useful inventions remain in place.
Pericles, Jun 24 2005

       Precisely my point Pericles. The Bar Stool Commode doesn't exclude women. With this simple device they too can enjoy a continuous drinking session in pungent surroundings without ever having to leave the bar to relieve themselves. They would no longer be excluded from this dubious pleasure. Forget the out moded canal + aqueduct solution; this is more comfortable and more inclusive.
nononoyes, Jun 24 2005

       This bar kinda reminds me of a milking machine. You sidle up to the bar, "pint of shandy, please barman", whilst the milk maid wipes you down (for hygenic reasons) and slips on a sucker.
oldchina, Jun 24 2005

       It would be less messy if a catheter was required. Or is that Cathater, I've been drinking.
geo8rge, Jun 24 2005

       To be honest, people seem happier just shitting themselves where they sit.
calum, Jun 24 2005

       (makes mental note to avoid [calum])
david_scothern, Jun 24 2005

       No, really. For years, I worked in a pub to fund my university habit and found that, on the whole, people didn't seem to be that bothered about whether their shit went in the pan or their pants. The number of times I had to politely throw someone out the door cause the flies were circling was upsettingly high. Then again, the pub I worked in was in one of the most deprived electoral wards in the UK, so perhaps my experiences are atypical.
calum, Jun 24 2005

       I severly hope so [calum]. Why would anyone want to encourage such laziness?
hidden truths, Jun 30 2005

       In NYC, most bars use the "natural selection" method -- put the restroom at the bottom of an extremely steep, rickety flight of stairs. Anyone too drunk to successfully navigate the stairs will fall to his death at the bottom and be removed from the drinking population.
phundug, Jun 30 2005

       Hey Phundug, This sounds like the basis for another half bakery candidate. Perhaps just the addition of whirling knives at the foot of the stairs and a sign "Warning: whirling knives" for the less inebriaited.
nononoyes, Jul 11 2005


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