Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Bidet / Shower Massage combo

Who knew being dirty could be so clean? (or vice versa)
  (+2, -1)
(+2, -1)
  [vote for,

Bidets are wonderful things - hygienic and fun. With a simple addition of an integrated multi-speed massaging shower head, it could revolutionize personal hygiene, convenience and bring lots of smiles, too. Designed mainly, but not exclusively, for women, it would not in any way detract from the bidet's more prosaic functions, but simply add some enhanced functionality. According to some informal market research and anecdotal evidence, this would probably be the closest thing to a working 'orgasmatron' ever invented.
lsenater, Oct 27 2001

OK, Baked... (sigh) http://bidet-2000.com/naisbidet.htm
Includes video of "Pulsing Action" [lsenater, Oct 27 2001]


       [PS] 1/2 Baked? Barely heated through! This idea is FAR more practical (though that is hardly a consideration on 1/2B) and even commercially viable. I am suggesting a minor modification with major ramifactions, rather than a whole new, unlikely device. Much more discreet too... try explaining the 'Shower Orgasmatron' to your mum should she pop in to use your loo... "oh, that... that's a... um... zuccini cleaner... honest..."
lsenater, Oct 27 2001

       Why, short of fetish, would I want to hover above a cold bidet in a bathroom while masturbating when I could be lying in my warm, fluffy bed instead?
ping, Oct 28 2001

       pong - several top of the line bidets (see link) feature heated seats. No more cold bidets for you! And this is pure speculation, but according to the same "informal market research and anecdotal evidence", I'd say that bathrooms are the second most popular masturbation location (bedrooms, of course, being first). Certainly for the busy and hygiene-concious onanist on the go, this idea has plenty of appeal.
lsenater, Oct 28 2001

       Easy to clean up afterward, people tend to think of it as 'dirty' and seek privacy, and one is less likely to be bothered in a bathroom.   

       You do realize that that link you posted is for a toilet seat, not a 'real' bidet, right?
StarChaser, Oct 28 2001

       How is this life-threatening? Or really bizarre?
StarChaser, Oct 28 2001

       Yeah, no clue what he's talking about either.   

       The "clean up" is mostly a male issue. I can't believe bathrooms would be anywhere near as popular with women than with men.
ping, Oct 28 2001

       Ping: that may be true - though I once met a woman who told me she was dating her handheld showerhead. Similar affinities have been commonly encountered, even suggested, in many a 'shocking expose' of female habits in either female (Cosmo, etc.) or male (FHM, etc.) oriented media. And it is not so much about 'clean up' as simply being tidy & convenient.   

       S_Chaser: I have to admit the add-on toilet seat / bidet (see link) is an even better idea that a 'real' bidet: less plumbing, more space & cost-efficient, easier to install, backwards-compatible, etc.   

       UB: ???? ibid.
lsenater, Oct 28 2001

       'Male issue'. Heh.   

       If nothing else, it's easier to clean tile than replace sheets...   

       Lsenator, I thought so too, I just wasn't sure if you'd noticed.   

       Ever see the 'dancing waters' in the Simpsons show where they ended up in Japan?
StarChaser, Oct 28 2001


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