Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Breech-loading toilet

  (+7, -1)
(+7, -1)
  [vote for,

It is a truth universally acknowledged that Halfbakers have an unhealthy obsession with all matters toiletial. It is equally true that, whenever the subject of blockages occurs, [8th] can be counted upon to recommend the use of explosives.

Howevertheless, a standard toilet bowl is ill-suited to the application of explosives. Apart from the fact that porcelain has a tendency to shatter under sudden load, there is the problem that the bowl is wider than the drain, and hence most of the force of the explosion will travel in the wrong direction.

Fortunately, the engineers at MaxCo. have been working on this one in their spare time and - especially for [8th] - have produced the Breech-loading Toilet (or BLT).

The BLT bears some resemblance to a conventional toilet, apart from (a) being circular rather than oval in its uppermost parts and (b) being gunmetal grey in colour. This is because it is made of gunmetal. Closer inspection will also reveal a coarse gapped thread on the inside of the rim.

Delivered at no extra cost with the BLT is the BLT Breech-Block - 348lb of beautifully engineered steel, with a thread matching that on the inside of the rim.

When blockages occur, as blockages are wont to do, it is a matter of moments to drop a timed charge into the bowl, hoist the breech-block into position and screw it firmly into place.

We should also emphasize that it is possible, with practice, to time the explosion to coincide with the moment a cat strolls over the manhole cover in the street out front.

MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 12 2017


       //[8th] can be counted upon to recommend the use of explosives.//   

       Well, when all you have is explosives, everything looks like a target.
Loris, Jan 12 2017

       When everything's a target, everything else looks like a weapon ...
8th of 7, Jan 12 2017

       There will be revolt downstairs when the task of cleaning the thread comes to be allocated
calum, Jan 12 2017

       //downstairs// Sp.: below stairs
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 12 2017

       "with a thread matching that on the inside of the rim" + "drop a timed charge into the bowl"   

       Leaving the victi....purchaser approx 5 seconds to work out it's a left-hand thread..
not_morrison_rm, Jan 12 2017

       Beautiful. Include a pneumatic or counterweighted counterballance arm to support the breechblock into and out of position.   

       I'd rather have the string to pull to set off the charge, rather than a timed charge, but that all should be optional extras.   

       If I was building my own house in somewhere hateful like France, I'd do away with plumbing my toilet into the sewerage system, and rather buy a MaxCo beech-loading toilet and fit a pintle-mounted muzzle somewhere adjacent to my balcony for aiming the discharge.   

       "street mime, 12 o'clock!" "Range it" "25 meters, elevation, minus 20" "Set" "Primed" "Clear" "Fire for effect"
Custardguts, Jan 12 2017

       downstairs as in the teenage quartet of indoors outdoors upstairs downstairs, duh
calum, Jan 12 2017


       I was thinking more of above-stairs and below-stairs staff.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 12 2017

       Oh it was still a reference to staff - I just arrange them on the udio model
calum, Jan 13 2017

       So, this is different from loaded britches then?
AusCan531, Jan 13 2017


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