Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Boing Loo

Bungee jumping as an aid to voiding
  (+6, -2)
(+6, -2)
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There used to be baby bouncers which were hung onto door corners, but they stopped making them because they caused brain damage or something. Anyway, i envisage a toilet consisting of a well several tens of metres deep, at whose top is a baby-bouncer style device attached to bungees, and at whose bottom is a rather unsanitary pool of ordure. On feeling the urge to perform certain bodily functions, you hoist yourself into the contraption, which is crotchless. You then fall a great and scary distance before snapping back and pinging up into the air above the top. By the time you reach the bottom, the combination of bodily reflexes resulting from terror and the momentum the contents of your nethers have acquired removes them from your vicinity at speed. You can have another go on the way down later.

Beyond this is the communal version, where sixteen or twenty-five people climb into a grid of the things and hurtle together down the tunnel, proceeding to gain relief together at the bottom.

Of course, if you do it on the way up it will probably catch up with you. I'm not sure what to do about that bit.

nineteenthly, Aug 13 2008

Bungee Poo http://images3.wiki...340px-Bungeepoo.jpg
Like this, only the other way up? [wagster, Aug 13 2008]

Take a dump while you bungee jump http://www.youtube....watch?v=1BjSvmDh-GU
Legendary sketch [django, Aug 13 2008]


       Doesn't terror cause clenching which is counter productive?
MisterQED, Aug 13 2008

       There's only one way to find out.
hippo, Aug 13 2008

       //it will probably catch up with you// How?
pertinax, Aug 13 2008

       I didn't get that either - the upwards velocities will both be diminished by gravitational acceleration at the same rate, so unless you're being slowed at a rate greater than this you should be OK.
hippo, Aug 13 2008

       Using the TP is going to take considerable skill.   

       Vengeful excreta might make a good gag in a zombie film, I suppose. "Boo! Thought you'd seen the last of us?"
pertinax, Aug 13 2008

       [hippo], you're right in an individual case, i.e. "it will catch up with thee" is false, but "it will catch up with you" (plural) is probably true. In the collective case, unless you engage in synchronised pooing/weeing, which would entail either careful timing or adjustment of elasticity, users are likely to encounter each others' matter at some point. Oh, unless everyone sits together on a large waterproof sheet through which they have thrust the appropriate bits of anatomy. OK, i'll go with that.   

       [fries shy], i see your point and i shall adjust my idea accordingly, thus: some distance above the pool there is a series of sprays which washes you down which later becomes a warm air blower to dry the fundament(s). Thanks for pointing that out.   

       [wagster], thanks for the proof of concept.   

       Oh, and [MisterQED], not for this particular IBS sufferer it doesn't, no.
nineteenthly, Aug 13 2008

       Is this inspired on the famous sketch by the crowd of "In de Gloria"?   

       See the video [link].
django, Aug 13 2008

       Read this as "Bong Loo".
Don't wanna go there.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Aug 13 2008

       And the aircraft manufacturer version, "Boeing Loo", is baked.
normzone, Aug 13 2008

       ...and the boring loo isn't worth bringing up.   

       So what happens when the bungee breaks?
CwP, Aug 15 2008

       - a big flap next to you on the harness pops open and there you see the "Emergency Paddle".
hippo, Aug 15 2008

       Wasn't there a Booing Loo in one of the Harry Potter books?
nomocrow, Aug 15 2008


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