Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Barbarella Massage Bench

Coin operated massage bench
  (+11, -3)(+11, -3)
(+11, -3)
  [vote for,

I often sit on a park bench for a rest and listen to the water cascading over the nearby weir, after I have completed one of my runs. This bench is of the traditional style with several horizontal laths running along its length, between the two supporting ends. It is therefore the perfect candidate for conversion to a Barbarella Massage Bench.

The name is derived from the film scene where Jane Fonda in Barbarella guise lies down inside an organ type device, to receive an orgasmic massage from its rippling panels. The park bench version would be similar, but no less satisfying for those resting after a long walk. The laths would be connected via individual cams to a motor, activated by a coin box. Once engaged the bench would begin a wave like rippling motion, providing the perfect respite for the tired walker to engage in meditative contemplation.

xenzag, Mar 03 2006

The Pleasure Organ http://www.aloha.com/~darkwatr/msxh3.htm
Mmmmmm... [wagster, Mar 04 2006]

Barbarella remake "officially off"? http://www.cinemati...driguezs-red-sonja/
Instead, Red Sonja, back with McGowan? Don't get your gold lame panties in a bunch just yet; there's a reason they call it "development hell". [jutta, Sep 15 2008]

Barbarella "Excessive Machine" scene (video) http://www.youtube....watch?v=ye5Jo1I4XXc
"Sonata for executioner and various young women." Jane Fonda as Barbarella, Milo O'Shea as Durand-Durand (sic) [jutta, Sep 15 2008]

https://kimandrelange.com/surfbench/ [xenzag, May 15 2023]


       //It is therefore the perfect candidate for // vandalism.   

       I'd have a go, whilst it lasts (+)
skinflaps, Mar 03 2006

       "lathe" (ie the thing possibly driving the cams) or "lath" (for the wooden strips being driven by said cams)?
coprocephalous, Mar 03 2006

       It would be neat if you can get Duran Duran to operate it too.
zen_tom, Mar 03 2006

       "Wasn't that neat, that thing I saw in the movie? Wouldn't it be neat if it were coin operated?"   

       And, //after I have completed one of my runs// - yeah, it always takes it out of you when you get the runs. My sympathies!
DrCurry, Mar 03 2006

       To be fair, [DrC], the device in the movie wasn't anything like a park bench.
Psst. [DrC] sp. "worried" ;-)
coprocephalous, Mar 03 2006

       A thousand thanks to all my eager pedants re laths sp.   

       "neat" - I hate "neat" - it's a word to inspire a bout of projectile vomit.
xenzag, Mar 04 2006

       [Edits annotation, makes note in diary.]
DrCurry, Mar 04 2006

       not sure orgamatrons are appropriate in public
Irontoad, Sep 15 2008

       //not sure orgamatrons are appropriate in public//
sp. "ogasmatron".
There is (or used to be) something like this in the middle of a restaurant/nightclub in Amsterdam (no, not *that* part of Amsterdam!) called The Supper Club.
It looked like a cross between a car top-box, and one of the suspended-animation "coffins" from "2001: A Space Odyssey".
You could climb in, with just your head poking out, and be mechanically massaged, though I don't remember if it was coin-operated.
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Sep 15 2008

       I thought this would have, in additional to the traditional face opening, two more openings to accommodate her interesting shape.
spidermother, Sep 15 2008

       The only bit I remember from Barbarella is Jane Fonda in the fluffy spaceship interior at the beginning - and Duran Duran, of course. A quick search for "Barbarella" suggests the appalling propect that some complete fool is currently remaking it for release in 2009 - starring Rose McGowan, someone who I've never heard of except that she just got herself in the news for saying how much she admired the IRA.
hippo, Sep 15 2008

       See last link.
xenzag, May 15 2023

       That SurfBench page really needs a video. I get the idea (I think), but it would be nice to see the "how".
neutrinos_shadow, May 15 2023

       I don't think the surfbench gives orgasmic massages unless your kink is rotational equilibrium, of course.
daseva, May 15 2023


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