Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Birth Wash

re-experience the wonders of birth, and clean your car
  (+8, -5)
(+8, -5)
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A fee is paid, and you drive your dirty car up onto the conveyor belt. You are transported slowly through a tunnel that resembles the lining of the womb and each trimester is condensed into a 5 minute wax and polish. Soapy amber coloured amneotic fluid covers your windscreen, as huge rubbery ovaries spin and remove any dirt. At the final stage, the vehicle is pushed out through a huge vertical aperture, and the service station attendant comes out dressed as a doctor, complete with surgical mask to cut the umbilical cord that is attached to your rear bumper.
benfrost, Feb 12 2005

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       did he have to give it such a hearty slap?
po, Feb 12 2005
  

       ...just taking the Vulva in for a cervix....
Basepair, Feb 13 2005
  

       Will this trip squash my front end into a pointy shape?
lintkeeper2, Feb 13 2005
  

       Heehee, [Basepair]   

       If a car jumps the track - C-section.
robinism, Feb 13 2005
  

       I'd sell seats in the outside grass for $2.00 if there were sound effects loud enough to be heard in the car.
reensure, Feb 13 2005
  

       what about that cheesy white stuff?
bungston, Feb 13 2005
  

       doubles as bonnet wax
benfrost, Feb 13 2005
  

       Does the car wash have to be shaved - or does that not happen anymore?
DenholmRicshaw, Feb 13 2005
  

       I wonder where my midwife, home delivery aunt would take her car for washing. She delivers babies in jacuzzis.
normzone, Feb 13 2005
  

       My friend Sigmund would like to have a discussion with you about your childhood.
disbomber, Apr 06 2005
  

       BARF!
natewill, Apr 07 2005
  

       Talk about controversy! And eww this is weird/gross.
EvilPickels, Apr 07 2005
  

       That's just sick!   

       (i love it +)
justibone, Apr 07 2005
  

       Wow... that's really far out, man. I mean, we should keep going with all of this, all exits should be fashioned after the vagina and its role in childbirth. All entrys, well, I can just think about it, and so can you.
daseva, Apr 07 2005
  
      
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