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Cowitzer

BooMooBooMoo...
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Large bore artillery weapon, capable of launching up to 1.3 tonne of previously viable bovine in the general direction of an enemy / target.

Ammunition loadouts include BSE (Bovine Spongiform Encephalopathy, MEAT (Medium Explosive Anti-Tank), Bull Round and Beefcake (Handy for controlling crowds at boy band concerts).

UnaBubba, May 02 2012

Cow full of puns Cow_20full_20of_20guns
You'll notice "Cowitzer" was mine... [theleopard, May 02 2012]

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       and also serve as novel delivery system abbatoir->wholesale meat merchants.   

       I can see it now..... Person A - "Damn, where is that beef?" Person B - "It's ok, I just saw the muzzle flash" Person A - "Gentleman, deploy the large landing spike and the burners, this one's a kebab order"
not_morrison_rm, May 02 2012
  

       That's pretty much how I saw it, [nmr]. I could have spent half a day writing scenarios.
UnaBubba, May 02 2012
  

       Where's my fee?
not_morrison_rm, May 02 2012
  

       Firing animal corpses at the enemy is baked, shirley?
AbsintheWithoutLeave, May 02 2012
  

       It's certainly baked in Monty Python and the Holy Grail
hippo, May 02 2012
  

       It was something that the siege-engineers of old would do, trebuchet style. There's nothing like a smelly old carcass lobbed into the enemy's stronghold to share a little pestilence.   

       Like Greek Fire, only more macrobiotic. (Or to put it another way, what [AbsintheWithoutLeave] said)
zen_tom, May 02 2012
  

       "What have you named your gun, soldier?"   

       "Sir, Patty, sir!"
4whom, May 02 2012
  

       [UnaBubba], you ripped all your cow puns out of my idea when you ditched your account. There was some quality ones there too!
theleopard, May 02 2012
  

       // How many would fit into 1.3 tonnes I wonder? //   

       447 (adult cats, 1 year old or more- not kittens). Using a wooden crate, it's a cube roughly 1.2m on an edge, and fits on a standard pallet.   

       Getting the top layer in is very difficult, but once the lid is nailed on and the joints are taped …   

       Don't forget to not make any airholes.
8th of 7, May 02 2012
  

       Surely you could get some more in there, if they were vacuum packed beforehand?
not_morrison_rm, May 02 2012
  

       "Lancez la vache!"
TolpuddleSartre, May 02 2012
  

       // could have spent half a day writing scenarios//   

       Ah - not gainfully employed, then.
MaxwellBuchanan, May 02 2012
  

       I object to the mistreatment of moo cows in this idea. I object most vehemently.
blissmiss, May 02 2012
  

       Even though this is theoretical mistreatment and probably parody, I'm not a fan of this Idea either. Cows are gentle creatures. Tasty, but deserving of humane and respectful treatment.
Alterother, May 02 2012
  

       I'll throw in a "me too". I'm good with it, as long as "previously viable" means up to and not including some pre-launch point, and not ballistically mooing.   

       Although... some particular cows I have known- I would allow my moral outrage to take a break as they hurtled into the fray.
lurch, May 02 2012
  

       I took "previously viable" to mean post-mortem, but I have this thing about respect for an animal even after death. I don't like to see mistreatment of remains. In a movie it's okay, because I know it's simulated.   

       Nothing personal, [UnaBubba].
Alterother, May 02 2012
  

       I meant they were dead, and by the BSE and MEAT components, not usable as foodstuffs or anything useful other than fuel or grist for the comedy mill.
UnaBubba, May 02 2012
  

       That's better then.
blissmiss, May 02 2012
  

       Howitzer better? I hold this idea in udder contempt.
4whom, May 02 2012
  

       Okay, if we're launching leftover cow parts after the useful bits have been taken and due respect given, then I say fire away.
Alterother, May 02 2012
  

       In the words of Duck Edwing, "Baruch atah adonai eloheinu , Kowinnnng flibbbbbble kersplatttz". suitably disposed of, and respected.
4whom, May 02 2012
  
      
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