Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Apply directly to forehead.

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CubicleExpress

Ejector mechanism for standard sized office cubicles
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This device coincides with the CubicleTent tenting system. Designed to be used only as a "last resort" the CubicleExpress combines space-age technology with solid state defense engineering. Based on the ejector systems currently employed by NASA's space shuttle program, the CubicleExpress was designed for the sole purpose of ejecting useless personnel from there place of employment. After several tests it was found that it had multiple applications in a wide range of other office scenarios as well. For instance; the annoying co-worker that makes themselves comfortable at your computer, or the IT pro that insists on changing all of your preferences to there own (because it’s more efficient), or the office “floater” that never seems to have there own work-space yet always winds up at your cubicle when you step out for lunch. All of these are remedied immediately upon the press of a button or pressure sensor. When combined with the CubicleTent and optional oxygen kit and booster rocket set, you can escape from your place of employment and remain in a geosynchronous orbit for up to 8 hours (re-entry heat shield sold separately).
Notch252, May 05 2004

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       There’re those where their 'there' means 'they’re', 'their', 'there’re' or vice versa, here and there.
FarmerJohn, May 05 2004
  

       Can this also be used to eject the said useless personell permanently from your place of employment?In this case, I wouldn't bother with oxygen or heat shielding, or even a tent for that matter.
dm01, Jun 13 2006
  
      
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