Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Curb Side Blow Job

Pneumatic Mail For The Masses
  (+21, -6)(+21, -6)
(+21, -6)
  [vote for,

I'm sitting here in my subarban abode, surfing on my WiFi laptop, flipping through TV channels with my remote and sipping on some Summer Ale -- a perfect New Jerseyan paradise.

But shortly, I would have to suffer the indignity of getting off my comfortable .COM era chair and going down a 50 foot driveway to get the mail.

Ridiculous, in the age of heated driveways. Offer an option to install pneumatic mail from the curb right into a proper receptacle in the desired area of the house.

theircompetitor, Oct 14 2004

For [gnome] http://www.creative...y/xxpix/suburbs.jpg
Typical driveway length. (modified 4/3/06, link was broken) [Worldgineer, Oct 14 2004, last modified Apr 03 2006]

(?) For [gnome] http://eslintl.com/...s/2130FloorPlan.jpg
To help you find the door. [Worldgineer, Oct 14 2004]

(??) pneumatic mail system http://www.rohrpostanlagen.de/e/index.htm
[elfling, Oct 15 2004]

(???) "Monster House" episode 11: Retro-Future house http://dsc.discover...re/retrofuture.html
Scroll to the very bottom to see the tube system. [krelnik, Oct 15 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

(?) a letterbox - a british invention? http://www.falconwi...tures/letterbox.jpg
[po, Oct 15 2004]

For [angel] http://terraserver....=no&FORMAT=Portrait
more suburbs [Worldgineer, Oct 15 2004]

More stuff on pneumatic networking http://www.douglas-...eumess/pneumess.htm
Doug Self's excellent site [angel, Oct 17 2004, last modified Mar 26 2013]

(?) Mail Train Alternative http://www.bestread...010620/hartmann.jpg
[jurist, Oct 17 2004]

(?) The train thing was 1/2 baked in the '80s http://www.tv.com/s...html&full_summary=1
That train would bring them about anything. [Worldgineer, Oct 19 2004, last modified Apr 03 2006]


       It scared me, then it made me laugh, than I thought, hey, why not? So a wobbly, shakey, sort of timid, +.
blissmiss, Oct 14 2004

       As opposed to?
I am confused.
In the UK we have a 'letterbox' through which letters are posted.
OK, they are now denying us the 1st class service but I *still* don't have to get out of the warm to pick it up.
Say? How long are your driveways?
gnomethang, Oct 14 2004

       Thanks, [World]!. I take it that the postman does not walk to the front door then!.   

       p.s. Very 'Edward Scissorhands' picture of suburbia!   

       p.p.s Actually, I give up!. Where are all the front doors!
gnomethang, Oct 14 2004

       In suburbs mail is dropped off in mailboxes directly from little mail trucks. Re: front doors, they are set back from the garage. This is not abnormal in the car-centric society we've set up here. I've linked to a likely floorplan.
Worldgineer, Oct 14 2004

       Many Thanks [World]! - I get the picture now!.
Perhaps the author of the idea could introduce a sealed duct from the mailbox to the kitchen with a couple of solenoid valves and non return AAV device installed to the compressed air/hydraulic system that was installed by the previous owners. That way, when the mailman deposited the mail in the mailbox (or equivalent) the pneumatics could deliver the mail to the kitchen (which is a country mile away from the mailbox by the way!) by the simple push of a button.
An auxiliary microswitch in the kitchen 'In' tray (bread basket?) will alert the occupier (via Bluetooth or flashing lamp) that "You got mail!"
gnomethang, Oct 14 2004

       Driveways can be much larger than that, and heated driveways are offered quite routinely in suburban homes, nowadays.
theircompetitor, Oct 15 2004

       baked. there are at least 3 homes near where i work that have pneumatic mail systems. i found a link to a company that supplies them.
elfling, Oct 15 2004

       Growing up, the mailbox was almost a mile from our house, and mums wanted the mail in by the time she got home. It was saddle up, (normally), or walk in the deep snow, when my horse was all cozy in the barn.   

       This would have been a great help, and still would be a wonderful thing, for folks, (especially elders), who have difficulty with mobility. I still am a quivering +.   

       [elf, your link just brings me to the recent page?)
blissmiss, Oct 15 2004

       Woof, continuing the off topic transatlantic comparison of mail services, I'm aghast at the notion that the US postal service, who otherwise seem to have little to do than rampage about the streets with automatic weapons, won't come up your drive with the mail. Many houses in the UK have longer driveways than those pictured and, by and large, the mail for these addresses is popped through the letterbox, into the throats of waiting dogs, just as it is for gardenless terrace dwellers. Really, this is quite something. What's the situation with apartment blocks and tenements? In the UK it's stairclimbing and letterboxes again, for Pat and Jess.
calum, Oct 15 2004

       sorry [blissmiss] try this one. look under products
elfling, Oct 15 2004

       elf -- I think you're missing something. Pneumatic mail has been available for over 100 years.   

       I'm talking about targeting a product towards personal consumption.   

       The reason I used heated driveways as an analog was not because there's some breakthrough technology used -- rather because it would be similar in marketing spin -- a high end option for a high end residential dwelling
theircompetitor, Oct 15 2004

       does nobody else think that this is the biggest let down of an idea concidering the title.
etherman, Oct 15 2004

       I, for one, don't think it's overblown at all
theircompetitor, Oct 15 2004

       We all thought it was gonna be something else, but that croissant in front of it just didn't make any sense.
yabba do yabba dabba, Oct 15 2004

       [Worldgineer]'s first link looks like a still from The Stepford Wives.
angel, Oct 15 2004

       It's strange to me that this scene would be strange to someone. Suburbs sprawl endlessly anywhere I've ever lived.
Worldgineer, Oct 15 2004

       Well, I can see where the cars live. Where do all the people live?
Ling, Oct 15 2004

       That's the thing. They live _in_ the cars.
Worldgineer, Oct 15 2004

       [World], have you seen the video for the Rush song "Subdivisions"? It looks just like that.
angel, Oct 15 2004

       Don't get me wrong - we have "houses" like that too, in cities. But cities are surrounded by hundreds or thousands of square miles of the other type.
Worldgineer, Oct 15 2004

       i know what you're talking about, [theircompetitor] and i'm telling you there are people here (not 5 miles from where i'm typing) in their starter castles that have pneumatic mail tubes shoot the mail from curbside down their enormous driveways into their houses. these are the same people who have the heated driveways.   

       these are fairly new houses too.
elfling, Oct 15 2004

       Don't get the wrong idea-- not all places in the US have mailboxes at the end of the driveways. My mailman (woman) drops the mail into the mailbox next to the front door. The paperboy (40 year old man in a van) is a different story though.
brodie, Oct 15 2004

       damn [elf], then how come no one sold it to me! :)
theircompetitor, Oct 15 2004

       how rich are you?
elfling, Oct 15 2004

       At my small country ranch it's more than a half-mile from the front door to the mailbox. So, as a spoiled city dweller for the larger part of the year who is used to front porch delivery, I've been watching this idea with some interest in the hopes that someone would link to a simple, efficient and cost effective system to bring the daily mail and papers to my doorstep. That doesn't seem to have materialized. And the more I think about it, a Jetsonian pneumatic mail tube just wouldn't have the right "rusticity" for our woodsy country setting in any case, even if it was commercially available for residences, and even if our specially challenged mail carrier could grasp the operating instructions.   

       What WOULD work, though, is a model Mail Train that ran on a set of tracks from the house to the mailbox and back. [link] One boxcar for US Mail; A second boxcar for newspapers and flyers. The entire system would be low-voltage electric, automated to stand at the "station" until a delivery was made, and would not require an Engineer (although it could take on passengers for a quick tour of the Upper Main Line, if desired). I think guests would get a kick out of the novelty value, and even the mail carrier and paper boy could understand the technology.   

       That may be next summer's project. All aboard?
jurist, Oct 17 2004

       Why not try a wind-powered conveyor belt?
angel, Oct 17 2004

       I was thinking about a radio controlled car with a mailbox mounted on top, but find the train idea to be far more elegant. It could be triggered by the closing the mailbox door, and will announce it's arrival with a loud "woo wooooo".
Worldgineer, Oct 18 2004

       I think I'm gonna move my mailbox to the curb and catch a ride on that train.
brodie, Oct 18 2004

       //my comfortable .COM era chair and going down a 50 foot driveway to get the mail.//   

       You mean your chair isn't motorized in this .com era? Man are you behind the times. +
sartep, Oct 18 2004

       This idea sucks... either that or it blows... I'm not exactly sure.
zigness, Oct 19 2004

       (-) one more way to avoid ever going outside. Encourages the worst aspects of suburban existence (I wouldn't call it living), and the total death of community.
sophocles, Oct 19 2004

       [sophocles], I see the neighbor when I walk the dog. That's quite enough.
theircompetitor, Oct 19 2004

       so... why not get the mail when you're walking the dog? Or do you walk the dog less than once per day or not any further than the sidewalk?   

       That said, I do concede that this would be quite bakable, and does have a market (just not one I'd personally buy.) peace to you.
sophocles, Oct 19 2004

       Whats wrong with pigeons?
pashute, Apr 02 2006

       Chiefly, they're guilty of pretending to be doves.
theircompetitor, Apr 02 2006

       i would make sure to deposit something vile and wicked into the first mailbox i see with this device. perhaps a rat or insects of some sort. special delivery for the lazy guy....so i will bun this.
IcarusByNight, Apr 02 2006

       //What's the situation with apartment blocks and tenements//
The apartment blocks (for which I may have a different definition than you) usually have a mail kiosk where residents walk to and unlock with a key.
Some subdivisions, even have roadside grouped mailboxes. That was a factor in me deciding against buying one of the houses I looked at.
I think smaller cities & more urban locations usually have the mailbox affixed to the house (or a letter slot), but we all can't afford to live in the city center.

       I'd love to try & work up the train thing, but I think I may be in trouble w/ the HOA already for fixing up my house without approval.   

       + If I had one of these maybe I could jam it up & cause all the junk mail to expload out into the street like in Brazil.
Zimmy, Apr 03 2006


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