h a l f b a k e r y
Number one on the no-fly list
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This idea revolves around those people who would like to say thank you to the person who delivers their post or their newspaper. A contraption would be fitted to the inner flap of a letterbox so that when something is pushed through it, it proclaims either a spoken voice or a text message that says
the word thank you. The facility would have an over-ride on/off switch so that it can be turned off once the item they wish to thank the delivery person for, has been delivered. This would appeal to people who wish to extend their courteous manner to people who they rarely see, but nevertheless want to thank for the service they provide. This idea is suited more for the property that has a letterbox in the door, rather than a mailbox.
||I'm never thankful when receiving bills.
||Maybe if you attached a visual recognition junk mail scanner, the letterbox could be programmed to spit the mail back out and proceed to audibly choke, cough and splutter.
||Or those little cards that tell you they tried to deliver a parcel but you weren't in, but actually you were in and had even taken the day off to the anger of your boss because it was press day, but that was the day they were delivering and there's nothing they can do about it, and when they arrive they don't even use the doorbell, which is quite prominently placed, and instead seem to make no noise at all but post the little card anyway, apparently safe in the knowledge that you're supposedly not there.
||Ah, so you've fallen foul of the Ninja Bastard Postie as well [theleopard]?
||Yeah. But not only that, I went to the door, picked up the card, and when I came back my girlfriend was half naked, panting and puffing away and there was a used condom on the floor! I hate Ninja Postmen!
||I've always enjoyed movies in that format. No thanks required.
||Having a machine say "thank you" is the
same as not saying anything. You
might as well programme it to say
||Nevertheless, I have a horrible feeling
that this would sell. Imagine if you
were the only person on a street whose
letterbox didn't thank the postman -
that would be conspicuously rude. So
you'd buy one, but maybe you decide it
would be mean not to spend the extra
money and get one that also plays a
little "thank you" tune. So then, of
course, all your neighbours have to buy
ones that play "thank you" tunes.
Except some wiseass would buy the
deluxe model that *also* ejects a small
toasted teacake to thank the postman,
after it's said thankyou and played the
little thank you tune. And before you
know it, most of the earth's mass will
be turned into thank-you letterboxes of
increasing sophistication. Postmen will
spend all of their time delivering
promotional mailshots from thank-you-
letterbox manuacturers. And then the
world will end.
||So, I am boning this automatically.