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Dog Pee Attenuator

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Dog pee is full of lawn nutrients - thus the verdant green of peed-on pathces. The problem: big dogs can deliver a lot of pee to one spot, resulting in nutrient overdose and dead burned patches. Sometimes it is possible to let the superlush growth adjacent to such patches grow tall and then perform a sort of "combover". But an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

I propose that when dogs get "fixed" an additional small modification be made such that pee comes out in a spray rather than a stream. This would distribute it over a larger area and avoid burning of patches. The dogs would be none the worse for the operation. In fact, this would allow dogs of the leg-lifting ilk to mark an even wider area while on walks.

bungston, Mar 04 2004


       (notices dog's stomach and legs are wet again) I wish I never installed that damn thing.
Worldgineer, Mar 04 2004

       I'm having trouble getting my dog to get in the truck ever since we took that trip to the vet's....
normzone, Mar 04 2004

       I’ve a dog that’s very clever. He knows all about those burn marks on lawns and such. He knows I don’t like them, so he goes on the oriental instead. See, he knows a bit of chemistry—he knows that those primitive people in Kazakhstan (or wherever) fix those dyes with urine, so what could be better for a rug? There...he just went again, right in front of me, as if to say: “See how it brings out the color? See? So you go ahead—you pee too.”

I’ve a mind to do it.
ldischler, Mar 04 2004

       What you guys need is a bitch. they pee in a much less directional way, and they're much sweeter, too. On my sixth.
grecosartre, Mar 04 2004

       But that is completely wrong. Male dogs pee on trees. The females are the real troublemakers, when it comes to lawns.
ldischler, Mar 04 2004

       bungston, as if getting a dog fixed isn't bad enough having something else done down there would be plain evil and potentially lead to bigger messes if your dog doesn't get let out in time.
engineer1, Mar 05 2004

       May as well catheterize and bag them, then you can save it up and spray it wherever you want. Or sell it on? "new magic lawn fertilizer"
unclepete, Mar 05 2004

       Wow, good description of my lawn (the combover part). Won't work for my dogs though. They team up, pick an area, and only pee there until they've created a large dead patch. After a while, when they are satisfied the patch will never grow again, they move to another area. I outsmart them though. I install flagstone pavers in the old dead areas. That'll teach 'em.
oxen crossing, Mar 05 2004


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