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Dog brothel

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If you search for "dog brothel"* you will presumably find that bestiality sex is allowed in some countries. That's not what I have in mind.

Do you ever marvel at those dog owners who have their pets leashed all the time and wonder how socially incompetent their beloved doggies are? Well, some barking and growling is to be expected if you never are allowed any free movement.

Part of the free movement is the search for sex, as in humans. And if this is impossible, frustration and aggression are the results.

Imagine a stable with a few bitches, enough to guarantee that always a couple of them are in heat. Feed them contraceptives, or employ bitches which had to be sterilized anyway but which are otherwise sound and healthy. Give them ample space to run and to retreat, and allow the male dog customers into the kennel. Then let nature take its course.

Go on a walk for a couple of hours. Then come back to retrieve your exhausted pet.

This may sound like male-chauvinism. Add dating facilities for the female dog population to it. There still would be the problem of contraception.

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* After my first half-baked ideas have been received benignly I dare to venture in more troubled waters and controversial issues.

Toto Anders, Dec 07 2014

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       This is exactly the sort of idea...   

         

       ... we need more of round here   

       +
DenholmRicshaw, Dec 07 2014
  

       Dogs see in black and white (I think), so they wouldn't be able to find the red light district.
not_morrison_rm, Dec 07 2014
  

       Cat stand, Hamster Humper s, Turtle rocks, Randy Rats, Bird Brothel, Fly Fiesta, Parrot Party girls, Voluptuous Vegas Vultures, Where the deer and the antelope play. etc.
popbottle, Dec 07 2014
  

       Bit cheap but there's value in it.
rcarty, Dec 07 2014
  

       Throb Lodge, or Throb Ogled..those are about the best the anagram engine can come up with..
not_morrison_rm, Dec 07 2014
  

       //After my first half-baked ideas have been received benignly I dare to venture in more troubled waters and controversial issues. //   

       Please do. It is now an established tradition to allow newbies to gain a little confidence before the residents of the HB descend en masse, generally brandishing scythes, pitchforks and flaming torches, and rend the unfortunate victiim's ego into tiny shreds, as a punishment for some trivial violation of the "rules", which aren't written down anywhere and indeed change drastically from day to day, or in some cases from minute to minute.   

       Beware of posting any idea involving science or engineering unless you are either very sure of your facts and math, or the whole thing is a beautifully crafted pun. Anything less and those little black dots circling hight in the sky will turn out to be hungry vultures, missile- armed stealth drones, or both.
8th of 7, Dec 07 2014
  

       But sometimes those vultures bring some edification.
bungston, Dec 07 2014
  

       Well, at least it's not in other:general.
normzone, Dec 08 2014
  

       TORCHES, GET'CHR TORCHES HERE
Voice, Dec 08 2014
  

       ^The flaming pitchforks are the worst. (But after a while no new holes are created so its just the burning)
AusCan531, Dec 08 2014
  

       Quiet, QUIET, QUIET!!! ... NOT YET !... All right, settle down ... that means you too, [popbottle], it's no good hiding at the back, we can see you ... no, put it AWAY .. honestly, worse than little kids ... [bungston], stop that, it's not big and it's not clever ... right.   

       Now, remember, you have to be patient. You have to WAIT. Sooner or later he'll post something controversial. Until then, you have to [VOICE], LET [NORMZONE] ALONE, stay quiet and watch. Now, put the Wicker Man back in the shed and let the tar cool down.   

       You can sharpen your pitchforks if you want.
8th of 7, Dec 08 2014
  

       Blunt ones work better.
pocmloc, Dec 08 2014
  

       It's the rusty one's you need to watch out for.   

       //and let the tar cool down //   

       Oh it feels good to be among friends.   

       // Cat stand, Hamster Humper s, Turtle rocks, Randy Rats, Bird Brothel, Fly Fiesta, Parrot Party girls, Voluptuous Vegas Vultures, Where the deer and the antelope play. etc. //   

       All those are welcome. But still the worst pet in public is the the sex-craving mastiff at the business end of a leash. Turtles never did me no harm.
Toto Anders, Dec 09 2014
  

       Then again, if a dog isn't frustrated, how are they going to be productive members of society?
4and20, Dec 09 2014
  

       Haranguing, arbitary undeserved punishment, emotional deprivation, random pointless cruelty and victimization by peer group, humiliation and accusations of guilt, i.e. send them to school.
8th of 7, Dec 09 2014
  
      
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