Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Drunk-level people matcher

reduce faux pas, and get your party going with the DLPM!
  (+11, -2)(+11, -2)
(+11, -2)
  [vote for,

Ever had that problem at a party when you talk to someone who is way more drunk than you are so far? Did their moronic slurring irritate you intensly, and make you want to actually leave what seemed to be a pretty good bash to get away from the pissed fool? Did you pray that the host would come along and whisk you away to a room filled with intelligent attractive members of the gender of your choice where you could languish and avoid this idiot?
How long is the maximum amount of time you seem to be able to hide from this drunken leech?

About half an hour huh?

Conversly, ever had that problem at a party when you talk to someone who is way more sober than you are. Did; their pretentious use of long words with several syllables annoy you? ; the fact that they did not return your warm proclamation of love for them upset you, and, how long did it take you to find them again each time they said they were just nipping to the loo, or to get a drink.

Half an hour?, yes I thought so.

The answer to this age old problem is this; a little device, like a watch, that sits on you wrist and monitors a number of symptoms of being drunk. Heart rate, jerkyness of motion, grammar of sentances etc. This device, using current mobile technology, then detects devices on others. If some one near by is at a similar level of sobriety as you then some form of siginal is given to each user.

Result; everyone gets to talk to someone who they understand/understands them. Everyone experiances fond memories of fun party, rather than embarassing faux pas or verbal accidents.

Zircon, Aug 22 2002


       That, or play Human Contact.   

       (And btw Zircon, you might want to change that 'grammer' before the bakers kill you dead.)
General Washington, Aug 22 2002

       Thanks for the tip, real human interaction is good (typed the person who isn't really called Zircon as he replied to a post by someone who is may or may not be called General Washington and both of whom wouldn't recognise each other in the street never mind at a party, no matter how sober!)
Zircon, Aug 22 2002

       // real human interaction //   

       Hey, Zircon, can you post a link to that ? Sounds interesting.
8th of 7, Aug 22 2002

       Don't get excited, 8th of 7, this 'real human interaction' is just a WIBNI. incidentally, I'm a teetotaller. "lips that touch liquor shall never touch mine"
pfperry, Aug 22 2002

       If I couldn't hit on people drunker than me at parties, I'd have no-one to talk to.
DrCurry, Aug 22 2002

       Aha! But you could surely set your device to alert you to people drunker than you, or more sober, if, say you want to find someone who can point you in the direction of the beer, and not navigate you into the fish pond in the back garden in the process. The device isn't meant to preclude sober-drunk interaction just warn the participents of the obstacles that exist re:any iminent converstion
Zircon, Aug 22 2002

       [pfperry] I'm pretty sure that's supposed to be wine.   

       Instead of a watch-like device (which the wearer may not be able to read) how about breathalizers at each doorway?   

       "You must be this drunk to enter this room"
04 <
phoenix, Aug 22 2002

       //Everyone experiances fond memories of fun party//   

       Excepting, of course, those who experience no memories of the party at all.   

       //rather than embarassing faux pas or verbal accidents//   

       Most of the embarrassing drunken verbiage to which I have been a party was deliberate. Had it been accidental, people might have been a tad bit more understanding.   

       The above are excellent reasons to join pfperry in the teetotalling mode. But for those who don't, this sounds like a great gadget.
banshee, Aug 22 2002

       My first instinct was to give this a croissant but then I realised that there is actually a bit of kudos involved in recalling tales of other peoples drunken hopelessness while emphasising your own ability to hold your drink. So I'll stay neutral for the moment. Does anyone know where the toilet is in this place?
DrBob, Aug 22 2002

       As yet another teatotaler, I could really use this at those obligatory company functions to avoid being the recipient of too much information. There are things about my fellow employees that I'd rather not know.
half, Aug 22 2002

       I'm drunk right now.
calum, Aug 22 2002

       How about a device that, as you get to the point where your perception of time becomes fuzzy, will give you a slight shock when you've been talking, staring, or standing by yourself in the corner for more than 5 minutes straight? Then you would never have those moments of 'God, how long was I doing THAT?!'
jfromm, Aug 22 2002

       Hic! [thump]
DrCurry, Aug 23 2002

       //Does anyone know where the toilet is in this place?//
On the balcony - keeps the splashback from messin' up those colo(u)rful socks of yours
thumbwax, Aug 23 2002

       Since Zircon's internal clock seems to run in half hour increments, I'm pretty sure I can get him a good deal on a brand-named chronographic stop watch...Not sure how this will affect his effectiveness with the opposite sex. Might make him the original 60 minute Baker Boy.
jurist, Aug 23 2002

       Ya right, the drunks'll be sooo drrunk that theeey caaan't reed wot th'watch sayes.   

       Couldn't the teatotalers just seek each other out based on their obvious nondrunkenness and move to the other side of the room, and let the drunks find each other somehow? ...if it bothered them? Drunks are more fun!
polartomato, Aug 23 2002

       [Polartomato]; Um, this device is supposed to make that very process more simple. Its saying to the person that invented the wheel, 'hey! couldn't we just drag stuff about instead'.   

       [pheonix] I like the drunk level room indicator, probably more than my original idea.   

       I suppose I should play down the part about stopping prople making idiots of themselves (which I know all too much about), as this seems to be one of the main attractions of the common or garden house party. the device is also meant to help people enjoy parties more by matching them to appropriately inebriated companions. I expect hilarity and shinanagins will still be the result.
Zircon, Aug 23 2002

       Alcohol is baaaaaaaaaaad, but its also a very nice way to forget why you told yourself that you shouldn't be drinking.
kaz, Aug 24 2002

       There are a lot of hackers and tinkerers out there who would figure out how to exploit this technology.   

ty6, Aug 25 2002

       Speaking of which, you know there are multiple ways to match yourself with people of similar alcohol levels.   

       I find that if I mix drinks most people approve of, and have guests of approximately the same weight, very few people become noticeably more or less drunk.   

       I suggest that beyond merely monitoring for people of similar levels of drunkenness, it would have a sign saying either "DRINK MORE" or SLOW DOWN," which would help your party to attain a relatively similar level of inebriation, and as it would be in bold print, and wouldn't involve you moving anywhere, a drunk would be more likely to do as it said.
ye_river_xiv, Jul 01 2009

       A true sign of a good party a "DRINK MORE" sign +
dev45, Jul 02 2009


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