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make breaking up online as easy as hooking up online
  [vote for,

There are plenty of online dating services to help you out when you're ready to start a new relationship. Why aren't there any services to help you end one that's ready to die?

Dumpster would work somewhat like eVite. You make one announcement of the break-up that gets sent out to all your friends, so you don't have to experience to agony of explaining the breakup for 50th time.

You pick a theme for the breakup, invite people to register alliances with either you or your ex, specify a white list and a black list of individuals who you approve or disapprove for hooking up with your ex on the rebound, and hit 'send'.

The Rebound white list and black list would not be visible to anyone but you. If a recipient is on one of the lists, they are notified only of that fact. Recipients on the white list are allowed to indicate their preference for dibs on your ex.

You can then keep track of who's been notified, who (if anyone) wants your ex, and make social plans accordingly.

banksean, Dec 30 2003

Anti-unrequited-love drug http://www.halfbake...equited-love_20drug
send your ex a bottle of this while you're at it [banksean, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

[jeva]'s link, as a link http://www.dumpmonkey.com/
I like that there's a "quantity" field on the order form. [Worldgineer, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]


       Also must include a space for anonymous comments telling you the real reason why your girlfriend / boyfriend broke up with you.   

       And there should be links to 3rd party delivery services that can return your borrowed items to each other's apartments.
phundug, Dec 30 2003

       Nice name, horrid idea.
kropotkin, Dec 30 2003

       [kropotkin] is it horrid because breaking up is horrid, or is there some other aspect that makes it revolting to you?
banksean, Dec 30 2003

       Financed with ads from divorce lawyers. Looks like www.dumpster.com is registered but not used. You could still buy it!
kbecker, Dec 30 2003

       The name's genius, but I'm not so sure there's a demand for an online breakup service. It gets my vote anyway.
snarfyguy, Dec 30 2003

       I love it....could have used it myself, and have friends who could use it.....the space for anonymous comments about real reason for breakup is a great idea.....
normzone, Dec 30 2003

       How cowardly the world has become when we use technology to split what was once a so precious bond.
Knut, Dec 30 2003

       (considers brain surgery, conjoined twin seperation, breast cancer surgery, and wonders what's wrong with using technology to split precious bonds, shakes head to clear thought) Very poetic, [Knut].
Worldgineer, Dec 30 2003

       So would this be above or below the level of getting a dear-john letter on a post-it note?
RayfordSteele, Dec 31 2003

       [RayfordSteele] It'd be more like getting your house, your car and maybe even your office at work covered in post-it note dear john letters for all to see.   

       But I'd rather frame it more positively. It's all about simplifying the act of dumping, which isn't pleasant either. (I'm not suggesting a service to help out sickos who get off on making former lovers miserable.) _Breaking_Up_ is Hard to Do, right? Getting Broken Up With is a passive experience, so there is no Doing, and therefore no Helping You Do It. You need friends to help you _through_ it.   

       No, wait. the Anti-Unrequited Love Drug would be a much more appropriate recommendation here.
banksean, Dec 31 2003

       I think its a good idea for kids in college who really don't care....but it appears www.dumpmonkey.com is already doing it.
jeva, Jan 02 2004

       I try not to be afraid to put my feelings out there, even if they're going to hurt someone. I think this is more hurtful to the "dumped" individual in the relationship than saying "I don't want to be with you" face to face and, being honest, I would never use this sort of service. However, I know many people who would LOVE IT it this existed and for that you get a bun.
Pericles, Jan 03 2004

       +Maybe if i wasn't such a hopeless loser i could make use of such a service, oh well back to the fortress of solitude...
whatastrangeperson, Jan 03 2004

       [jeva, Worldengineer] dumpmonkey is for a personal one-to-one message delivery. Dumpster is about letting your group of friends know that a breakup has occurred and handling the repetitive tasks associated with it. These are totally different ideas.
banksean, Jan 04 2004

       (banksean)...Very good point. dumpmonkey.com appears to be on a personal level. Same underlying idea, very different approaches. Good to know these services exist!
jeva, Jan 05 2004

       Good point Gromit. [banksean] With this bit of IT efficiency you could lose the love of your life real quick. Instead of talking to a friend(s) you propose to post a notice. Have you any friends? Do you know what a friend is?
hangingchad, Jan 05 2004


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