Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Face Transplantee Blackhead Extruder Plate

  (+11, -2)(+11, -2)
(+11, -2)
  [vote for,

Of course, the technology will eventually become sufficiently commonplace that this will be an option for the moneyed and fortunate but, until then, why not make the lives of face transplant recipients more tremendous by fitting between head and new face a plate, perhaps metal (perhaps not) which, when the firmly transplanted face is pressed firmly into the plate, allows for the easy and satisfying extruding of pore-clogging matter of all shades. Like the Play-Doh Mop Top Hair Shop, but for pus.
calum, Jun 16 2011

Happy customer http://imgur.com/gallery/Xjblq
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jun 19 2011]


       That would be a great party trick - "Look what happens when I start this small hydraulic pump!" - "Argh! - No!! - My eyes!".

I can't believe no one's thought of this before.
hippo, Jun 16 2011

       These could easily surpass Rave Parties in popularity, provided enough blackheads could be found. [+]
Grogster, Jun 16 2011

       Liposuction - the Dark Side.   

8th of 7, Jun 16 2011

       The first step towards a Borgian utopia, eh [8th]?
theleopard, Jun 16 2011

       metal plate? helps squeeze out those pesky bullets.
AutoMcDonough, Jun 16 2011

       oh awfuk!
po, Jun 16 2011

       but but but! you would still have matter that gets left behind in the tiny hole orifices. Must have some sort of slide mechanism to remove this unwanted material. Like connect 4, but for pus.
daseva, Jun 16 2011

       not sure why the market for said device would not be larger than only those with face transplants. who wouldnt want this?
bungston, Jun 16 2011

       Not only do you need to extrude, and then ultimately collect, but you must somehow dispose of the so extruded and collected materials. Perhaps it could be catapulted away using some kind of randomised triggering device. Like Buckaroo, but for pus.
zen_tom, Jun 16 2011

       In my experience - of pus extrusion, not of face transplantation - there is a pleasure for the extruder not only in the act of extruding, but also in the close examination and then informal display of the extruded matter, to give others a welcome opportunity to feast their eyes on varying shades, shapes and consistencies of pus. To serve this trend, it would be well within the realms of the doable to mark on the face a grid, giving each grid a square location that, following use of the (FT)BEP will or will not contain a pussy element. Absent but contactable friends could then play an amusing guessing game as to the Coördinates Purulent. Like, one supposes, Battleships, but for pus.
calum, Jun 17 2011

       //In my experience - of pus extrusion, not of face transplantation //

If not by transplant, calum, then how on earth did you end up with the ugly mug that you've got now?
DrBob, Jun 17 2011

       //informal display// - as opposed to framing it and putting it on the wall, I suppose
hippo, Jun 17 2011

       Perhaps you could work steadily across the surface, identifying and isolating each blackhead individually. Like Minesweeper, but for pus.
8th of 7, Jun 17 2011

       Seems to me, if the face is on a metal plate, it could probably be removed fairly easily and perhaps replaced with a different one. You could leave one face in a vat of grease to ensure abundant blackheads, and swap them over whenever you feel like. A bit like Mr Potato Head, but for pus.
theleopard, Jun 17 2011

       or just eat pizza
AutoMcDonough, Jun 17 2011

       If only everyone could be so fortunate to have a terrrible face destroying accident.
rcarty, Jun 18 2011

       Wait a minute: sebaceous material <> pus.   

       On the other hand, I suppose sebaceous material is harder to rhyme, anagrammatize or embed in weak puns.
pertinax, Jun 19 2011

       how perspicacious of you
FlyingToaster, Jun 19 2011

       //how on earth did you end up with the ugly mug that you've got now?//
Nine early years in England, when my face was at its most sensitive to the mysterious fizzogical action of by the great tangle of England's munting leylines. Either that or 'cos my dad's a funny looking bugger.
calum, Jun 20 2011

       // 'cos my dad's a funny looking bugger. //   

       Presumably that's just an assumption, you not knowing who your father is and all ....
8th of 7, Jun 20 2011

       //Presumably that's just an assumption//
Well, yes, all my mum knows is that he was an Englishman.
calum, Jun 20 2011

       Maybe God likes you after all, then.
8th of 7, Jun 20 2011

       Definitive proof of the nonexistence of God.
rcarty, Jun 20 2011


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