Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Black Talcum Powder

It can't just be me that could use this
  (+2, -1)
(+2, -1)
  [vote for,

I gave up using talcum powder because of embarrassing residue around my dark work-trouser flies, after quick trips to the loo. Black talcum powder would fix this
philmckraken, Jun 28 2004

(?) You simply must try a pair of these on. http://www.topdrawers.com/ck-u1008.html
Heavenly comfort. I threw out everything I owned and stocked up on these. [RayfordSteele, Oct 04 2004]

(?) Black Powder http://www.unitednuclear.com/bp.htm
Puts the KER-CRACK! in McKraken . . . [contracts, Oct 06 2004]

Definition http://dictionary.r...com/search?q=smegma
Enough. [RayfordSteele, Oct 06 2004]


MikeOliver, Jun 28 2004

spacemoggy, Jun 28 2004

       very good idea in the sense that if you use it in office toilet & residue remains on your pants, it may get on to your hands/ palms unknowingly anytime you touch that area of pants. this would help you keep important/ordinary documents with good appearance(beautiful black spots?).
vedarshi, Jun 28 2004

       elbow eraser, good idea.
etherman, Jun 28 2004

       good suggestion. easily noticeable shiny graphite would perfectly serve the purpose of avoiding embarrasing white spots.
vedarshi, Jun 28 2004

       Sounds like you need invisible talc.   

       [My mind is still boggling. Please do not answer contracts' question - I think we really do not want to know.]
DrCurry, Jun 28 2004

       Um, you use talcum powder? OK.
saker, Jun 28 2004

       [contracts] please read the post (initial idea)of philmckraken. if during office hours nobody ever gets natural call then surely talc is not needed at work. in that case the idea of black powder itself is meaningless.
vedarshi, Jun 28 2004

       I think using talc after (during?) trips to the bathroom is, shall we say, not commonplace. Now, aren't you glad the HB is an anonymous forum? No, wait...   

       P.S. Using talcum powder after (during?) trips to the bathroom is actually a BAD IDEA, according to a quick Google search. Corn starch is the recommended alternative, and that has the advantage that you can dye it black.
DrCurry, Jun 28 2004

       [for all] Perhaps I should clarify (people seem to be being carried away by their imaginations - not surprising I suppose, this is the site for imaginative people!)   

       After my morning shower I used to use talc liberally sprinkled around the - ahem - groin to keep that area dry of sweat - dark work trousers in summer have little ventilation. Quick dashes to the loo during the day for 'number ones' would leave talc on my hands - no problem with that because of course I wash my hands afterwards anyway.   

       However that fumbling around would also leave the aforementioned residue around the fly (flies? plural?).   

       Hence the need for Black Talc (invisible Talc would be the ideal of course)   

       I have more recently taken to using anti-perspirant, but I am concerned about the effects of interfering with the body's natural cooling system.   

       (apologies to anybody eating while reading this...)
philmckraken, Jun 28 2004

       perhaps if clear talc isn't possible, a whole line of colored talcs to match your wardrobe.   

       you could make some interesting art with the 'toner talc' however.
xclamp, Jun 28 2004

       phil: Hm, yes, that was more information than we really needed. Try wearing boxers, and looser cotton trousers or silk suits. Unless you sweat really profusely in the aforementioned genital area, you may not need all that talc.
DrCurry, Jun 28 2004

       Goth Talcum Powder

Like the smoke from a pyre of 1000 agonized souls
My talc is that black
Oh torturous toner from Xerox copy machine
Your essence condensed from a ravens back
You bring some cheer to my darkest nether regions
(Last line omitted for reasons of taste, unless you ask for it) +
sartep, Jun 28 2004

       No, your line has much good taste compared to mine.
sartep, Jun 28 2004

       I really wish the way you used antiperspirants had remained a Secret. Really. Stroking your Speed Stick with the Old Spice...what the Fa is that all about?   

       Sure, it sort of makes sense, I guess, that a bit of antiperspirant might keep both your Arm & Hammer dry. But mightn't boxers help keep things down there a bit more Arrid?   

       Perhaps we should give some Degree of thought to a Ban on descriptions of crotch-rot and its prevention . Some overzealous Brut may decide to give this idea the Axe and MFD it.
Guncrazy, Jun 28 2004

       // I'm sure the guys know what I'm talking about) //   

       Not a clue.
waugsqueke, Jun 28 2004

       [philmckraken] i had understood your intent much earlier, which you have explained now. i just wanted to induce you to spell out the details. now when you have yourself told that washing the hands would serve the purpose then there is no need for black powder. just follow this sequence :keep toilet paper in hand while performing 'number one'; throw it in bin; if there is any fumbling around don't worry at all because the white powder has already gone with toilet paper. just think further-have you saved some water by avoiding washing your hands? [a food for thought for all] from energy, environment & economic point of view which one is beneficial - washing hands or using disposable toilet paper !
vedarshi, Jun 28 2004

       [Guncrazy] I use an aerosol deodorant... although now that you have planted the idea in my mind...   

       [Zanzibar] //lick his hands//??? Umm ...oh never mind
philmckraken, Jun 29 2004

       I thought talc was a carcinogen? Or at least has been implicated as a possible contributor to ovarian cancer which isn't likely a problem for you guys but were I a guy it'd keep me from using the stuff.
bristolz, Jun 29 2004

       //Corn starch is the recommended alternative.//
So, we're back to custard-filled knickers.
angel, Jun 29 2004

       [zanzibar] //He could always lick his hands clean// very intelligent !you have suggested third option which is the cheapest with something to relish.
vedarshi, Jun 29 2004

       //fumbling around would also leave the aforementioned residue around the fly//   

       By the time one reaches a certain age, one knows where everything is and doesn't have to fumble around anymore.   

       At the make-up counter, you can find translucent loose face powder, designed to absorb oil, that blends with whatever color you put it on. Advantage - It reduces shine too! Disadvantage - the big fluffy brush would tickle.   

       Do men still wear chalk-stripe trousers? If you wore those, the chalky talcum powder would blend right in with the stripes.
robinism, Jun 29 2004

       White trousers. In fact, white linen trousers, a toothpick dangling from the corner of your mouth, fistfuls of pistols and an office full of caged birds, so you can go to the lav in talc-invisible Chow Yun Fat-tastic super slo mo.
calum, Jun 29 2004

       //Listen, nutball...Have some courtesy//   

       Does anyone else see a contradiction here?
robinism, Jun 29 2004

       [Drcurry] you had anticipated very well on June 28 about the things to come out on June 29.
vedarshi, Jun 29 2004

       Ha - you found a definition! That word is celebrated as one that the BBC let slip, not knowing what it meant.   

       Anyway, I don't think talc helps with that, rather than straightforward personal cleanliness. I mean, does this guy not wash himself properly?
DrCurry, Jun 29 2004

       [all genius half bakers] come on now ! leave it aside. please channelize your energy in creative ideas.
vedarshi, Jun 29 2004

       It is a clean man who washes his hands. It is a wise man who doesn't piss on them in the fist place.
richp, Jun 29 2004

       What about the one who uses talc?
DrCurry, Jun 29 2004

       I am so, so sorry
philmckraken, Jun 29 2004

       This could be called "Blalculm Powder".   


       Well, it could.
bungston, Jun 29 2004

       [philmckraken] if you feel sorry, halfbakery is not the place for you. don't have guilty conscience. just see how you have been able to evoke thoughts in the minds of half bakers.
vedarshi, Jun 30 2004

       Dust, like covers the outside of these old trous.
dpsyplc, Jun 30 2004

       Surely an easier solution would be a catheter like extension, thus your hands never come into contact with the talc...but that's another idea and may push imaginations too far.
silverstormer, Jun 30 2004

       // Am I to understand that [philmckracken] has multiple penii? //   

       Many lizards do.
waugsqueke, Jun 30 2004

       Yeah, but they fall off when the lizard gets nervous...
Detly, Jun 30 2004

       Since we're talkin' about the general vincinity, I've discovered god's gift to men the other day. See the link. There's a pocket pre-created into the thing, hence the term 'contour brief.' No free-swinging boxers, no tighty-whitey crunch. Support and space all in one without riding up, and the microfiber is downright awesome-feeling. Changed my entire outlook on life, it did.
RayfordSteele, Jun 30 2004

       //... I've discovered god's gift to men the other day. See the link.//   

       He's certainly turned my head... oh, the underwear. Right.
Detly, Jun 30 2004

Basepair, Feb 19 2005

       philm, this is the funniest thread ever. Thank you.   

       When I clicked on the Definition link, I got this Google advert: Circumcision Sale New & used Circumcision. Check out the deals now! www.eBay.com
baconbrain, Feb 20 2005


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