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Of course, the technology will eventually become sufficiently commonplace that this will be an option for the moneyed and fortunate but, until then, why not make the lives of face transplant recipients more tremendous by fitting between head and new face a plate, perhaps metal (perhaps not) which, when
the firmly transplanted face is pressed firmly into the plate, allows for the easy and satisfying extruding of pore-clogging matter of all shades. Like the Play-Doh Mop Top Hair Shop, but for pus.
Happy customer
http://imgur.com/gallery/Xjblq
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Jun 19 2011]
[link]
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That would be a great party trick - "Look what happens when I start this small hydraulic pump!" - "Argh! - No!! - My eyes!".
I can't believe no one's thought of this before. |
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These could easily surpass Rave Parties in popularity, provided enough blackheads could be found. [+] |
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Liposuction - the Dark Side. |
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The first step towards a Borgian utopia, eh [8th]? |
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metal plate? helps squeeze out those pesky bullets. |
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but but but! you would still have matter that gets
left behind in the tiny hole orifices. Must have some
sort of slide mechanism to remove this unwanted
material. Like connect 4, but for pus. |
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not sure why the market for said device would not be larger than only those with face transplants. who wouldnt want this? |
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Not only do you need to extrude, and then
ultimately collect, but you must somehow dispose
of the so extruded and collected materials. Perhaps
it could be catapulted away using some kind of
randomised triggering device. Like Buckaroo, but for
pus. |
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In my experience - of pus extrusion, not of face transplantation - there is a pleasure for the extruder not only in the act of extruding, but also in the close examination and then informal display of the extruded matter, to give others a welcome opportunity to feast their eyes on varying shades, shapes and consistencies of pus. To serve this trend, it would be well within the realms of the doable to mark on the face a grid, giving each grid a square location that, following use of the (FT)BEP will or will not contain a pussy element. Absent but contactable friends could then play an amusing guessing game as to the Coördinates Purulent. Like, one supposes, Battleships, but for pus. |
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//In my experience - of pus extrusion, not of face transplantation //
If not by transplant, calum, then how on earth did you end up with the ugly mug that you've got now? |
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//informal display// - as opposed to framing it and
putting it on the wall, I suppose |
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Perhaps you could work steadily across the surface, identifying and isolating each blackhead individually. Like Minesweeper, but for pus. |
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Seems to me, if the face is on a metal plate, it could probably be
removed fairly easily and perhaps replaced with a different one. You
could leave one face in a vat of grease to ensure abundant blackheads,
and swap them over whenever you feel like. A bit like Mr Potato Head,
but for pus. |
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If only everyone could be so fortunate to have a terrrible face destroying accident. |
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Wait a minute: sebaceous material <> pus. |
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On the other hand, I suppose sebaceous material is harder to rhyme, anagrammatize or embed in weak puns. |
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//how on earth did you end up with the ugly mug that you've got now?//
Nine early years in England, when my face was at its most sensitive to the mysterious fizzogical action of by the great tangle of England's munting leylines. Either that or 'cos my dad's a funny looking bugger. |
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// 'cos my dad's a funny looking bugger. // |
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Presumably that's just an assumption, you not knowing who your father is and all .... |
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//Presumably that's just an assumption//
Well, yes, all my mum knows is that he was an Englishman. |
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Maybe God likes you after all, then. |
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Definitive proof of the nonexistence of God. |
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