Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
"Put it on a plate, son. You'll enjoy it more."

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Film-Quoting Sail

for when quoting words is not enough
  (+7, -1)
(+7, -1)
  [vote for,

You carry around a top-heavy backpack-like thing, which supports a pair of parallel masts, a pair of speakers and a discreet projector nestled into the back of your neck. A touch of kyphosis is helpful here.

The actual sail is a plain white sheet spread between the masts, and the projector projects on to it.

The projector has to be digital, not a real film projector, because it has to be able to compensate for the angle of the sail, and any slack in it, which it can do because it can 'read' the positions and angles of the two masts.

The whole contraption is controlled from a hand-held iPod-like device.

The touch of a button allows you to display behind your own head, for the benefit of your interlocutors, a montage of film clips appropriate to your message. The speakers, perched parrot-like on your shoulders, may reinforce it if required.

For example, a short clip of Tweety-Pie panicking 'It de putty tat! It de putty tat!', cutting immediately to a scene of extreme violence from, say, one of the Terminator films, would in come circumstances make an excellent substitute for swearing.

Instead of self-recrimination, just flash up a brief image of Homer Simpson.

You could also do some useful silent sarcasm with this device.

pertinax, Apr 27 2007

Pocket_20Christopher_20Walken inspiration [pertinax, Apr 27 2007]


       This was partly inspired by the "pocket Christopher Walken", of which it might be considered a generalisation.
pertinax, Apr 27 2007

       In the 80s, this would have sounded like a sensible prediction of what fashion would be like in the year 2000.
zen_tom, Apr 27 2007

       + I really like this but hope it's not too heavy for the wearer.
xandram, Apr 27 2007

       Just go easy on the Ingmar Bergman, [xandram], and you'll be fine.
pertinax, Apr 27 2007

       to my knowledge, this is the first time one of my ideas has inspired another. Thanks for that, and [+] for the idea.
bleh, Apr 27 2007


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