Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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*fwooom* *flush*
  (+5, -1)
(+5, -1)
  [vote for,

Looks like a normal toilet, save the second handle, the gas tank, flame-resistant bowl, and various tubes hooked up to the bowl. After doing your business, simply flush the right-side handle to spray the gas onto the solids (would anything else besides gas work better?), then hit the obvious looking button (complete with flip lid and bright red letters saying, 'DANGER') to light a circular flame within the toilet (which looks not unlike an oven's pilot light). As soon as it ignites, the inside of the toilet bursts into flames large enough to amuse, yet small enough to not burn the house down. After the solids have burned, flush the regular handle to put the rest down the toilet. And you would obviously need as little water as possible in the bowl. Should help keep your pipes more clean. And you also might want an exhaust fan above the toilet. I take it that it burning toilets don't smell nice...
ghillie, Feb 05 2004

Flammabowl Illustration http://www.geocitie...ie87/flammabowl.htm
I finally made an illustration! Crappy, but who cares? [ghillie, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]

Propane toilet http://www.propanes...ll/abouttoilets.htm
[kbecker, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 05 2004]


       *see link* for picture
ghillie, Feb 05 2004

       so *crappy* I cannot open it!   

       plus for the time-consuming wriggling around geocities...
po, Feb 05 2004

       Auto-bun? Is there such a thing?
ghillie, Feb 05 2004

       no - auto po   

       on consideration - I may have to rethink all this...
po, Feb 05 2004

       But two positives in under 30 seconds?
ghillie, Feb 05 2004

       There are many wonderful puns involving flames and excrement and I can't think of any of them right now. +
k_sra, Feb 05 2004

       I would assume that we need a safety sensor to make sure that no one is seated at the time. We can direct water pipes through a heat exchanger in the bowl to ensure that people taking showers still get scalded.
DonBirnam, Feb 05 2004

       Link should be working now.
ghillie, Feb 05 2004

       It's somewhat baked (link), but without the entertaining effects.
kbecker, Feb 05 2004

       Somewhat, [kb], too bad you can't watch it explode...
ghillie, Feb 05 2004

       Maybe my dog will finally stop trying to drink from the toilet now.   

       Could be a false prophecy alarm in the middle of the night while seeking the burning commode. Have your own functional, unisex burning bush with which to do your business. Extra bibles and stone tablets sold separately.
Letsbuildafort, Feb 06 2004

       By the way, since my illustration is so crappy I thought I should ask. What kind of programs do the great Halfbakery Artists (FarmerJohn definitely included) use to create their prestine pictures? I'd like to upgrade from 3 year old scribbles to something a little more mature.
ghillie, Feb 19 2004

       I was expecting exploding bowling balls.....
normzone, Feb 19 2004

       My sister in law, who is a personal injury lawyer, will just love this one. She once defended someone's set of buns that were slightly browned off due to the janitor leaving caustic cleaner on the toilet seat, much to her profit. If the unit malfunctioned the s**t would really hit the fan. And what happens if someone uses the toilet to vomit and flushes between heaves?
riccoman, Feb 19 2004

       [riccoman], If you looked at my (still crappy, help!) illustration, or idea description, you would have seen that there are two handles, one for flushing, one for spraying the fluid. To fire up the flames, you must lift a safety flip lid positioned on top of the tank, then press the button. Might be a bit complicated if you're drunk.
ghillie, Feb 20 2004

       It might well be worth your while to mount the button on the wall a few paces from the bog. Placing the ignition button atop the cistern as depicted in the illustration would either leave the user stinky or charred and stinky depending on the flame height.   

       However, I have poured flammable stuff into many a bog and lit it to get the cool woof sound without benefit of a dog, so +
stilgar, Nov 16 2004

       I know I've seen print ads for incinerator toilets. You know, those little ads for oddball stuff in the back of magazines like Smithsonian or The New Yorker.
bristolz, Nov 16 2004


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