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"Bun is such a sad word, is it not?" -- Watt, "Waiting for Godot"
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I often lose track of how often I've worn something and
end up washing it anyway, which is wasteful, time-
consuming and probably wears it out more quickly. This
concern has recently been expressed here but I forget who
Clothing, at least in my case mainly gets dirty through
with the skin of the wearer. This contact can be
reduced via underwear, but there was at least one item of
clothing which rarely or never touched the wearer, viz. the
hoop skirt. My idea is broadly that before dressing, one
should don an all-over garment consisting of an articulated
body-shaped net made of elastic rods with inward
projections from the intersections onto which spongy or
adhesive pads can be placed. In order to prepare the
garment, one starts with it inside out and places the pads
onto the projections, thereby preventing direct body
contact. One then proceeds to put the garment on by
eversion from the legs upward before putting any outer
clothing on, thereby preventing most opportunities for
sebum, skin, sweat and the like to besmirch the clothing.
The length of the projections is determined by the ideal,
also known as non-existent, differences in measurements
between one's own clothing size and the next size up, the
shell being the latter size.
It wouldn't completely obliterate dirt of course, since
sources of dirt emanate from the outside world as well as
the body, but it would virtually eliminate one source of
muck. Sitting down would be entirely comfortable due to
the bed of nails effect of spreading the weight out. There
could be a pudendal hatchway to allow the egress of fluids
and other such matter.
Replace the pads daily. I think maybe you get a toothpaste
tube thingy and anoint the projections each night.
The outer clothing could then partly be vacuumed clean.
Stiffer but similar [nineteenthly, May 04 2016]
||This obviously makes it easy for women to have bulging
bustlines, and for men to have bulging chests. Why am I
now suddenly thinking of codpieces?
||That's true [Vernon], and also wings and tails.
||So, not so much Iron Man as Bendy Straw Man.
||Well, you could get a choice as to how stiff you want your
underwear I suppose. In that sense this merges into
Sptangdex (see link).
||"The world is not only stranger than we imagine, it is
stranger than we can imagine."
||I think a drysuit is like this, except instead of elastic rods you have warm, scented air. Probably it still touches at the wrists, ankles and collar.
||Yes. The daily replacement of the pads would clearly be less wasteful than, you know, washing clothes, because ...
||[19thly] - is all of this just an elaborate excuse for
you to wear a crinoline?
||I suddenly think I know how Gumby must feel.
||He was framed I tells ya!