Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Geek Court

Let justice be done
  (+3, -4)
(+3, -4)
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Centuries ago, churches had their own courts and legal system. Clerics could not be tried in normal civil courts; clerical courts could try offences that didn't exist in civil law.

As the new High Priests of Technology within human society, Geeks should be awarded similar privilege (privi = private, lege = law).

Procedures, offences and penalties would be attuned to the specific world of Geeks.

For instance -

Crime: Hacking into a governmental computer to look for evidence of UFOs Punishment: One week with no Star Trek.

Crime: Accidentally bringing down a mobile phone network while trying to work out how to delete a text message before it's delivered
Punishment: 14 days community service, lecturing on mobile phone networks to other Geeks.

Crime: Hacking someone's IM account and then sending messages that make the victim sound like a user.
Punishment: 28 days as an ISP helpdesk operator.

Crime: Maliciously wiping a hard drive
Penalty: Death (for a first offence)

8th of 7, Jul 28 2009

US TV: Dirty Jobs with Mike Rowe: chick sexing http://www.youtube....watch?v=1tmEO9xRqvo
A classic. Actual explanation starts around 2:40. [jutta, Jul 29 2009]


       I like, but whilst it is fairly easy to define and identify a cleric, maybe not so easy a geek. (apart from the plate-smashing and arm-linked dancing)
coprocephalous, Jul 28 2009

       Ah yes, 'My Big, Fat, Geek Wedding'. Great film but not many computers in it. Most odd.

PS: 8th? No! (-)
DrBob, Jul 28 2009

       What crime is it where the punishment is listening to a lecture from a geek?
snoyes, Jul 28 2009

       What this idea implies is a fracturing, along occupational lines, of the legal system to counterract a perceived lack of appropriateness of the present legal system, which treats people as people, rather than taking into account their jobs (and the intellectual, physical and emotional characteristics that are, um, characteristic of those with those jobs). If we accept one slope-shouldered and self-important subset of society as being deserving of special treatment, why not do the same for others? Surely the spot welder, the actuary and the chick sexer are, in their own ways, worthy and deserving of a specialised system of laws and courts? Which in turn raises the question of granularity: to trained eyes employment lawyers are as like corporate lawyers as sheep and cattle (and mix just as well). Employment lawyers suckle their young just as their corporate counterparts do, yes, but surely the former, being a specialist and prone to imagining obstacles to progress, should be tried in a court modelled in decor and ethos on The Lair of Gordon Burns, while the corporatist, being the handsome-, hard-working- and honest-est of the lawyers should be tried in a court more appreciably snuggly and warm. No?
calum, Jul 28 2009

       chick sexer? what about us sexy chicks? ;)
po, Jul 28 2009

       "chick sexer" was [waugsqueke's] favorite occupation title :-( I miss the the old squeker.)   

       Anyway as for the idea, don't we here in the U.S. have enough on our collective plate with the stupid "stupid" remark made during a "potential" profiling performance? If you know what I mean.   

       We don't need to have anymore categorical profile hunting-gathering, do we? (As in geek gathering and clumping.)
blissmiss, Jul 28 2009

       And what of the humble "Brief"? (as in "Cor lummy me old china, I've gorn an' dunnit nahh - it jus' wennoff in me 'and! Ain't no coppa gaahnna take me aloiiive till I tawk to moy fakking brief!" <blam blam etc>)   

       I would watch "My Big Fat Geek Wedding" - in fact, I like that idea so much that people are peering over my cubicle walls to see what it is I'm giggling to myself about.
zen_tom, Jul 28 2009

       //people are peering over my cubicle walls//
'bakin in the bog, huh?
AbsintheWithoutLeave, Jul 28 2009

       "Wha? He not a Geek? How do I know if he a good boy? I don't! How do I know if he use RPN? I don't!"
RayfordSteele, Jul 28 2009

       "Blessed are the Geeks, for they shall inherit the Earth......"
8th of 7, Jul 29 2009

       I fear the Geeks, even when they bring gifts (Babylon 5 DVDs, Warhammer rule-books, Anne Summers Uhura costumes, whatever).
theleopard, Jul 29 2009

       Internet porn - Geeks' baring GIFs?
coprocephalous, Jul 29 2009

       (Damn it! I've bee trying to figure out a geek "gifts" equivalent for 2 days, it was so obvious!)
theleopard, Jul 29 2009

       A split in the judiciary? [calum]'s point about the question of granularity is very pertinent. There would be call for schism within the Geek Court: The Red Hats (some kind of Spanish Inquistion-esque fanatics), the Guru Meditation AmigaOS (an order with root/ in the 80s), and, of course, the Geek Orthodoxi.
Jinbish, Jul 29 2009

       // Geek Orthodoxi.//   

       Quality. Definitely a "start-your-own-religion", that one.   

       Don't forget that the Court officials and Law enforcement will be Jedi; "The Jedi Knights were the guardians of peace and justice in the Old Republic".   

       There's more than a little scope for cults, here....
8th of 7, Jul 29 2009

       I picture little Spock sculptures in Geek Restaurants, like those little fat Buddhas, with people rubbing his ears for good luck.
RayfordSteele, Jul 29 2009


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