h a l f b a k e r y
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Without wishing to in any way to downplay the remarkable
achievement of creating and distributing Covid-19 vaccines,
the delivery mechanism - i.e. standing in a queue outside
your local pharmacy waiting to be jabbed in the arm - may
not be exciting enough for some.
Thus, for a small
fee, this service allows you to play the part of
dissident Bulgarian cold-war defector Georgi Markov. As you
wait for a bus on Waterloo Bridge, dressed in authentic
replicas of the cheap 1970's clothes Markov wore that day,
will feel a sharp stabbing pain in your leg and see a shady
figure flee, dropping their umbrella - and thus know that
have been vaccinated.
If this service is successful,
other role-play vaccination scenarios will be developed, for
example the old man with the blowpipe in "Tintin and the
Broken Ear" or being visited by a John Travolta lookalike for a
reenaction of the injection scene from Pulp Fiction.
The death of Georgi Markov
[hippo, Jun 20 2021]
Tintin and the Broken Ear
[hippo, Jun 20 2021]
Trainspotting air gun scene
[xenzag, Jun 25 2021]
Not medically qualified to administer vaccination jabs. [DrBob, Jun 26 2021]
||Can I get mine cut with some kind of mildly narcotic substance and do the whole tying off my arm, slapping the injection site and doing the injection by candlelight, or something of that nature? Medical professionals could maintain an opium den, or some such.
||As opposed to the more stochastic Andrey Markov
vaccination service, where each position in the queue has
some fixed set of chances that the people in each spot get
to move to a different location in the queue, one or more of
which might involve actually getting vaccinated, after which
their chance of proceeding to the exit is fixed as 1, via the
sink. There is every chance that some positions in the queue
will contain multiple people after a certain number of goes,
but it should all even out in the end.
||[normz-1] excellent, yes - Im sure that would appeal to
[zen] I like it - very niche, and would increase vaccination
||[Approved +] Don't forget the air gun shooting
Trainspotting: "do ya have tha beast in yer sights
||Conditional bun provided that assurance is given that the Vlad Tepes scenario is permanently off the table.
||Looking online, a typical vaccine dose seems to be 0.5ml
(the largest I found was 3ml, 2ml is not
uncommon, the singular smallest value was 0.05ml -
which is possibly a typo).
||These are all much larger than the umbrella applicator
pellet could carry -apparently less
||You're going to need a tranquilizer dart-style projectile.
Given the use case, a retractable
needle on these projectiles would be a benefit.
||The calf, as a large muscle, is possibly a reasonable
target for certain vaccinations. I'm not
convinced the heart (à la Pulp Fiction) would be ideal.
||I'll take mine in a dirty bathroom with a rubber hose across from a furtive businessman and an underweight woman wearing powerful perfume. How much for the full perp-walk-and-cell treatment?
||Could this be scaled up to biologiocal warefare? Well,
a virus isn't alive but scaling up the right molecular
fractions, an air force could dose/douse whole cities
with the right immulogical stimulant.