Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Replace "light" with "sausages" and this may work...

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Injectors for Mad People

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Sally requires an EpiPen® Auto-Injector to counter an allergic peanut reaction, should she ever again eat any. The hand-held tube-shaped drug delivery system with spring-activated, concealed needle would be hit onto her skin to administer the medicine.

Like an allergic reaction, so is an attack of anger something that could be countered with a dose of a fast-acting calming drug from an Auto-Injector.

When the frequently angry person in your life has an attack of unreasonable anger, do not attempt discussion, debate, debacle. Simply reach for their Anger Auto-Injector and apply it swiftly. Life can return to normal and much anquish spared.

Mustardface, Jan 23 2005

EpiPen® Auto-Injector http://www.allerex.ca/epi.htm
[Mustardface, Jan 23 2005]


       Auto-inject yourself too, while you're at it. You deserve some relaxation. Ahhh...
robinism, Jan 23 2005

       It is very noticeable that some humans, often - but not always - female, tend to behave in an unhelpful way when unexpectedly confronted with one of life's occasion little difficulties (a flat tyre, a cancelled train, a lost credit card), panicking, screeching, and becoming ineffectively tearful.   

       What is absolutely required is a short period of calm reflection, to assess the situation and evaluate the possible courses of action.   

       What is not required is a prolonged bout of noisy low-grade hysterics, unaccompanied by rational analysis.   

       In such circumstances, it would be extremely useful to have available an autoinjector filled with a carefully designed blend of fast-acting short-term tranquilizers, muscle relaxants, and antidepressants.   

       Rapidly deployed to the perpetrator at the onset of the emotional outburst, this will allow the necessary time to take remedial action, while neatly distracting the target by the unexpected sensation of having a small, sharp hypodermic driven hard into a major muscle group.
8th of 7, Jan 01 2018


       Not if she's met you before.
pertinax, Jan 01 2018

       Like there's ever a second time ... ?
8th of 7, Jan 01 2018

       I think you'd be better off with a syringe full of alcohol - try 20-40cc and, if that doesn't work, give her some as well.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 01 2018

       This might cut both ways. One can imagine being pre-emptively injected with a cocktail of adrenaline, amphetamines, cocaine, anabolic steroids and really strong tea; "Don't just stand there thinking; do something!" Or maybe that's just me.
pertinax, Jan 01 2018

       // alcohol //   

       Alcohol seems to be a contributory cause, rather than a potential remedy, so no.
8th of 7, Jan 01 2018

       No, I have teetotal inlaws who do this hysteria business to a treat.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 01 2018

       You could offer a saline solution placebo effect version. May or may not work but at least you could stab them in the butt with it.   

       I've found that when people are throwing a fit, you just tell them to calm down and they'll instantly stop and thank you for your advice. Don't say it too forcefully though, you don't want them to calm down so much that they pass out.   

       Those two words are extremely powerful, use them with care. In fact, you might be better off sticking them in the butt with a needle and explaining it's placebo effect calming juice. If this doesn't work just tell them to calm down again.
doctorremulac3, Jan 01 2018


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