h a l f b a k e r y
"Look on my works, ye Mighty, and despair!"
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To protect against the virus, we are instructed to wash our hands for at least 20 seconds, this being indicated by the time taken to sing the "happy birthday" song, or similar.
To automate this process, I bring to the world Happy Birthday Hot Water.
It's a simple attachment that clamps unto any
hot water tap, or gooseneck mixer. Once in place, it only activates when it detects the flow of hot water. When it does, it starts singing Happy Birthday via a powerful little speaker for the required length of time needed to ensure that the hands have been washed properly.
At any time it can be removed and a new song and voice downloaded and installed via an internet site.
||20 seconds might be enough for some people but not others.
If you're gonna download a different song, I suggest "The Rise
and Fall of Bossanova."
||I'm so tired of singing that stupid song, I've taken to singing
"Burning Down the House", as loud as I can, flapping my arms
and making all kinds of weird noises while doing it. Then I
walk out and shake my wet hands at the first person I see.
||No takers on The Rise and Fall of Bossanova?
||How about Don McLeans American Pie? About
eight and a half minutes. And you can misspell his
name mCLEAN if it helps you remember to wash
||Or Arlo Guthries Alices Restaurant Massacre -
over 18 minutes, and includes a story of helping a
friend by cleaning up their place but subsequently
getting arrested for littering.
||Washing up songs by washed up singers.
||You can have whatever song you want, or even go
on random selection mode. How about "I'm gonna
wash that man right outa my hair", from the
musical South Pacific sung by Nellie Forbush.