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renting out stalkers to anyone who needs to feel important
  (+10, -5)
(+10, -5)
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nothing makes someone feel more special than a stalker... imagine. get one for yourself, or for a friend. you have someone around who actually cares you exist. doesn't that make you feel warm and fuzzy?
Malakh, Apr 22 2000

(??) For my next trick, I'll need a volunteer! http://www.writebehindbars.com/
A case where you don't have to push the envelope. [reensure, Apr 22 2000]

Penn & Teller Get Killed http://us.imdb.com/Plot?0098073
Movie whose haphazard plot hinges on a similar idea. Wouldn't it be cool if someone was trying to kill you? [jutta, Apr 22 2000]

I hired a contract killer http://us.imdb.com/Title?0099818
Suicidal man hires contract killer to kill himself. While the killer is tracking him down he changes his mind though... Very funny film. [hippo, Apr 22 2000, last modified Oct 05 2004]

EdTV http://us.imdb.com/Title?0131369
What happens if some guy volunteers to have his stupid life filmed and edited for TV? [simpleknight, Apr 22 2000, last modified Oct 05 2004]


       Don't they call these 'Private detectives'?
StarChaser, May 29 2000

       A friend of mine actually did this. Got bored and asked a girl if he could stalk her. she said yes, citing the very reasons Malakh said.   

       I ended up being an assistant to this, cleaning her house when she went out, redecorating, working with the fake key blank we used to get in. the only upside was that she was out weekends and it was a convenient place to freshed up next to soem clubs.
bear, Jun 22 2000

       If you are yearning for your very own Personal CyberStalker, there's a web site - "Adopt-A-Stalker" - http://members.aol.com/~deejpearls/stalker_adopt.html They don't guarantee you a stalker - but - it's worth the try!
petmychia, Jun 26 2000

       A stalker might be too expensive if you realise how labour intensive this is. The 'star' doesn't need this 24/24. Like the company that supplies extras as fans for you at the airport. I had the idea to have a documentary team 'stalking' a person. The documentary team will have a production team that will call authorities, friends and corporations in advance wether they agree that the camerateam visits together with this individual they are making a documentary on. It might actually become a compelling film about vanity if you can make the people who use this service sign a contract that they don't mind to have the material broadcast on whatever form. All this material on vain people with boring lives can become interesting. Such an enterprise might be profitable from the start. The person hiring pays for all the expenses and helps to get access to all kinds of locations. The result is sold to a tv-station in a weekly slot. The documentary editted from the material of dozens of these vain people becomes a documentary that can be shown in theatres and sold on DVD (at least to everyone in it and their friends and relatives).   

       ReindeR http://rrr.dds.nl/
rrr, Jul 30 2000

       Lots of people have no meaning & direction, so 'stalking' is a good hobby. It could eventually get them a real job eg surveillance with a detective agency, or counter-surveillance, to prevent others from stalking 'important' people.   

       The obsessive personality might one also learn to be less obsessive, and to get a real life, from watching another real person living out their real lives.
gz, Apr 23 2001

       Suicidal man hires contract killer to kill himself?
thumbwax, Apr 24 2001

       I really liek this idea, but it could people like me out of a job. friends and i have lots of fun trailing poeple in a tiny town and if Hire-A-Stalker happens, what are we to do for fun?
empathyburger, Sep 27 2002

       There's a group of people that you can pay to kidnap you. They'll show up where you work or at home, grab you, throw you in the trunk of a car or something, and hold you prisoner for a predetermined amount of time.
notme, Sep 30 2002

       // Nothing makes someone feel more special than a stalker... imagine. get one for yourself, or for a friend.//   

       Get one for your boss or a stranger or a movie star or your mother or the girl you want to be your girlfriend or a rival/ foe/ enemy.
popbottle, Aug 29 2015


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