Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Kiddie Tranquiliser

knockout sweets for screaming kids
  (+11, -7)
(+11, -7)
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When you have annoying screaming kids on Trains and in other public places simply slip them a sugar coated "Kiddie Tranq" and watch them calm right down and fall asleep for the duration of the journey.
matski_98, Jan 26 2001

Fentanyl lollipop http://www.csen.com...thesia/lollipop.htm
[LoriZ, Jan 26 2001, last modified Oct 21 2004]

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       Hmmm. don't know if you'd get this one past the govt. Still you could always try chocolate liqueurs. A box of those should quieten the little devils down. Need to get them past the football song chanting, "did you spill my pint", and vomiting stage into unconsciousness. Probably habit forming.   

       Alternatively, just slip them an 'E'.
crispy, Jan 26 2001
  

       a few well-placed strips of duct tape should do the trick.
nick_n_uit, Jan 26 2001
  

       What's wrong with a slap? Worked in my day, i never ended up in borstal and had the potting shed kicked out of me, cos i got a slap from me dad! Let 'em know who's boss, if you have people like Mandelson in the government then it's no wonder kids are running riot. Slap 'em i say!
richie, Feb 13 2001
  

       crispy....can you sing "did you spill my pint" for us? We're stuck with "99 bottles of beer...."
Susen, Feb 13 2001
  

       The odd German schoolyard insult "Bist wohl mit'm Mohnschnuller grossgezogen?" ("Have they raised you with the poppy pacifier?") is meant to call into question the recipient's intelligence. It refers to the rural practice of silencing unruly children with a pacifier dipped into the juice of the poppy plant - the same stuff opium is made of. Worked like a charm, but, as the insult documents, people eventually noticed side effects on the child's brain development.
jutta, May 14 2001
  

       Plays havoc with your erm, long term, um whatchamacallit so you can't um... err.. (drifts into unconsciousness)
st3f, May 21 2001
  

       Yes, I've often wished for this thing. I imagine they would be controlled by the government, and parents would be issued three each year; that way one knows not to use the pill hastily, only in that rare really desperate situation (i.e., it's been three months since you were both in the mood at the same time, and the kid won't sleep).
jurgen, May 21 2001
  

       I though this item was for a kiddie tranquilizer gun, which is a much better idea....
CasaLoco, May 22 2001
  

       A friend of mine from Jamaica was raised with bubblegum tea. Whenever she needed to be sedated-- say, a tooth was coming in-- her parents would give her bubblegum tea and she'd quiet right down. Bubblegum tea was water infused with marijuana. Sounds all right to me.
ejs, May 22 2001
  

       I remember seeing something in the tabloids/Ripley's/wherever about a family that had their children in velcro suits, with velcro walls in certain areas. Wouldn't keep the kids quiet, but at least they'd be immobilized.
While we're at it, why not make an adult tranquilizer. I think that, no matter how old you get, there's always certain people higher up than you with infatigueable belligerence, autotheism, etc, addendum who really need to take a long, involuntary time-out.
nick_n_uit, May 22 2001
  

       What is wrong with you people? I no longer question why our "great nation" is going down the sh*tter! Why dont you teach the children how to act appropriate, that way when they are older not only do they pass that onto their children, but they are respectable adults! Your parents must have taken the quick way out with you and that is why for some reason you find this a reasonable way to deal with your problems. You are no better than a junky!
rBg, Aug 20 2002
  

       rBg: I'm afraid your annotation sounds dangerously close to a rant ......   

       I am in favour of this idea, and award it a croissant. I am also much taken by the tranquiliser-gun-and-radio-collar suggestion, and look forward with interest to future elaboration.
8th of 7, Aug 20 2002
  

       I think I'm going to need some of these in about ten minutes when I have to wake my kids up and tell them about our pet which just died in my arms.
Helium, Aug 20 2002
  

       [rBg] Which great nation are you referring to?   

       [Helium] I'm sorry that you have that unenviable task to do.
bristolz, Aug 20 2002
  

       Because disiplining your child will put CPS (Child Protective Service) at your from door. I have had Mall Security fallow me and the wife around watching us because the kids were screaming and I took them out to the car. The the little security golf cart cruise by and stop and watch us. In the US it is bad!. I remember having to go get my own twig to get spanked with as a child and now that is mental abuse of a child! The kids are going wild because now if you do just about anything to correct your child the parent is punished! The other day my 4yr old son fell in the dirt and the school called and said they were going to report us because he had a black eye from his fall!
chu467, Apr 24 2003
  

       Tell them to spank each other. As far as I know they don't prosecute kids for hitting each other. e.g.You kill someone, That's bad, The state tells somone to kill you, that's ok because they're just following orders, and the majority also think this is ok.
Apothecary, Jan 29 2006
  
      
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