Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Instructions for children

A gap in health provision
  [vote for,

Many new parents complain that babies do not come with instructions or a technical manual.

This is easily rectified.

At birth, all babies would have one of three possible QR codes (one for each gender) laser-tattoed onto their foreheads.

Shoud parents then require guidance or information, they need only scan the QR code to be taken to a website providing advice and assistance.

8th of 7, Jan 11 2016


       Are you sure this QR code shouldn’t be tattooed onto the foreheads of the parents, to be used for informational purposes by the infants?   

       Otherwise it would be called ”Instructions for parents”.
pocmloc, Jan 11 2016

       //Many new parents// Awww, [8th] - you should have told us - I would have asked grand-aunt Jacob to knit a muzzle for it. Congratulations on the happy event.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 11 2016

       We are delighted to announce that the Collective has not been augmented. The idea is merely in response to observation of the consequences of an unhappy event for others.
8th of 7, Jan 11 2016

       How do the doctors know the baby's gender when it's only a newborn and incapable of meaningful communication, let alone thinking about how it fits into a social structure?   

       …I suppose gender vs. sex may be a difficult concept for the Borg.   

       Also, what about home births? I'm sure you don't want those parents who have babies at home to continue to complain about lack of a manual.
notexactly, Jan 11 2016

       Include manual or bar code with every box of condoms or birth control pills. It is the unwanted child whose parents need a manual.   

       An what's all the nonsense about special codes ? Sauce for the goose is sauce for the gander. Ask Hansel and Gretel.
popbottle, Jan 12 2016

       QR's are kind of fragile, and if forehead skin stretches asymmetrically enough, it's buggered.
not_morrison_rm, Jan 12 2016

       // if forehead skin stretches asymmetrically enough, it's buggered.// or anencephalic.
MaxwellBuchanan, Jan 12 2016

       // How do the doctors know the baby's gender when it's only a newborn and incapable of meaningful communication //   

       Well, they know to within 99+% accuracy, which is pretty much enough for functional society.
Custardguts, Jan 12 2016

       // incapable of meaningful communication //   

       Since this is also true of many adults, it rases the issue of how doctors cope with the general population.   

       The technique of "Ignore the patient's symptoms and make a guess" seems too obvious ...   

       Vets rely primarily on information provided by the owner.
8th of 7, Jan 13 2016


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