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Local Vernacular Bus Times

"hey fatso - why don't you walk to the next stop?"
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Many cities now have exact waiting times displayed using electronic boards at bus stops. The London Underground has had this for years and even in the colonies they are catching on as to its advantages (I noticed a few of them in New York on a recent visit that were never there before)

I'm not saying that they're not useful, but I prefer a more vernacular interjection to add to the hard calibration of minutes. For example: "next bus due in a wee minute" or "ha ha- you just missed one, and the next one is full of screaming kids" or " what are ye looking at? - Yea you - dumbo-lugs/baldy bap!" (insert any insult)

Of course nice messages could be displayed too like: "sorry for the delay - you may pick your nose and smear it on the side of the bus shelter with no penalty for the next 15 minutes"

xenzag, Oct 22 2010

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       really? I just got on the oh shit I'm late bus...+
xandram, Oct 22 2010
  

       Another NY example:   

       "Fuggedaboutit."
Boomershine, Oct 22 2010
  

       If this can't be implemented in full, how about implementing it intermittently.   

       Once every few weeks, any given bus indicator should flash up "Hey, John, you have coffee on your shirt." for about 2 seconds.   

       According to my statistical calculestimates, there will be at least one person called John who, in the course of a month, is "flashed" twice in this way, and who has coffee on his shirt on both occasions.   

       He will be so freaked.
MaxwellBuchanan, Oct 22 2010
  

       [MB] Nice. "Bob, you missed your stop."   

       "Tom, you are on the wrong bus."   

       "Jim, we know what you are doing back there. Knock it off."
Boomershine, Oct 22 2010
  

       The last paragraph is disturbing - is that message really “nice”?
pocmloc, Oct 23 2010
  

       No - it's not really "nice", but then this is a slightly malevolent piece of software. I suppose different routes could have different message biases.
xenzag, Oct 23 2010
  

       There is no need for the message to be random. [Max] Passengers could register in advance for a personal greeting to be flashed up on the board.... there's the obvious "Happy Birthday" of course, but just about any message that displays your name will work.
xenzag, Oct 23 2010
  
      
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