Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
On the one hand, true. On the other hand, bollocks.

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London water flavouring

  [vote for,

For Londoners forced to spend time away from London and there drink strange-tasting, soft, pure water, this is a sachet of powder (mostly calcium carbonate, chlorine and cocaine) which can be added to water to make it taste like proper London water.
hippo, May 16 2019

But think of the (jellied) eels. https://www.foxnews...ive-researchers-say
Traditional innit. [notripe, May 19 2019]


       Can it be filtered through a set of kidneys, for the full effect?
MaxwellBuchanan, May 16 2019

       Tautology. Everyone knows Londoners have no sense of taste ...
8th of 7, May 16 2019

       Consider yourselves lucky there are no large sulfur deposits in your groundwater. In Lafayette Indiana in the 80's you could smell the water a table away. Not for no reason one of Purdue University's colors is yellow.
RayfordSteele, May 20 2019

       It's like I've always said, if they can spend forty billion pounds drilling a hole across and under London, they could afford to spend a bit of money to alter the geology of the south east of England so that the water doesn't taste like ass. That they don't suggests to me that London water (also Heywards Heath water and Paddock Wood water and Saxby Fnarbry water and so on) is an elaborate cockney prank to be played on anyone who is at once (a) fortunate enough not to live in and (b) unfortunate enough to be alive in London. I am assuming that the prank is motivated by jealousy of status (a) and the opportunity afforded by status (b), and the Londoners are such a piss-hearted bunch that they will themselves suffer this torment just for the mere sake of sticking it right up the provincials. hippo's excellent idea frees Londonders up from this self-inflicted harm, allowing them to venture, tentatively at first, and then with increasing confidence, into those provinces for the purpose of being mean to people from places like Wrexham, Hexham and Twatt.
calum, May 20 2019

       // allowing them to venture ... into those provinces //   

       Either that's irony, or you've just put your name down for a kicking.   

       The whole point of building the M25 was as the foundations of the eagerly awaited London Containment Barrier.
8th of 7, May 20 2019

       what are you talking about? London's water is the best!
po, May 21 2019

       The best what?
pocmloc, May 21 2019

po, May 21 2019

       Oh right!
pocmloc, May 21 2019

       I like this + pst - [there/their]
xenzag, May 21 2019

       Not just the water; everything in London is The Best. In fact it's so good that we understand why no Londoner ever wants to leave.   

       Besides, there's nowhere to go. The Underground stops where it does because there's nothing beyond that point, just a sheer cliff going down forever into the freezing darkness. It's literally the end of the World.   

       All that stuff about "other places" is just a conspiracy. No, stay in London, where it's safe and beautiful and friendly. Don't ever, ever leave. Ignore the cassandras who say it's a dirty, smelly, overcrowded, overpriced plague pit, choked with traffic and crawling with foreigners. It's just lies, all lies, to tempt you away from Nirvana.   

       Do the sensible thing. Stay in London. Don't ever leave.
8th of 7, May 21 2019

       600,000 cats are doing just that.
mylodon, May 21 2019

       Grest place, unless you like sunshine. Then I recommend someplace sunnier, like the bottom of the Amazon perhaps.
RayfordSteele, May 22 2019


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