Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Millionaire fantasy fulfillment

We make your sexual fantasies happen - for a very high price
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(+4, -8)
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You're extremely rich - your personal wealth easily runs into nine figures (USD) or more. You can afford anything you want, if you know where to get it.

This service essentially combines prostitution, theatre and event planning. For a very large fee we will create your sexual fantasy down to the last detail, including the environment, the context, the 'story' and, of course, the perfect participants.

Want to have a threesome? Don't call us; you can arrange that yourself through the classified ads.

Want to preside as emperor over a Roman orgy? Now you're talking - we'll build the set and have fifty lovely men and women ready to please you (and each other) all night long. Want to start off with a full banquet and perhaps some gladiatorial combat before the main event? No problem. Want to do the gladiators afterwards? Excellent; they'll be ready. Take a shine to a serving wench? Help yourself - you're the emperor.

That'll be $5,000,000, please.

Our events can be more intimate or even more grandiose, and can be as specific as your kink gets. We operate in a country with liberal prostitution laws, and as long as it's not illegal (e.g. adult participants only, no non-consensual acts, no significant injuries) we will work with you to design, plan and execute your most cherished fantasy. Our prices are based upon the complexity of the event to be staged, the number of participants required and the activities that you desire, and range from eye-watering to mind-boggling.

But you're enormously rich. You can well afford to spend a few million on living out your ultimate fantasy, can't you?

WombatDeath, Nov 01 2009

(?) Esculent Affairs, Las Vegas http://www.esculentaffairs.com/
Not any fantasy, but they may be able to help with some of them. Specializes in ... uh. Aphrodisiac food eaten off naked girls' bodies? I'm not entirely sure. The website is horrible to read. [jutta, Nov 02 2009]

Real Life DnD Real_20Life_20DnD
Same idea as this, except deals with between orgy activities. [bungston, Nov 02 2009]


       I'm sure that could be arranged for far less than 5 million!
Without knowing the going rates for prostitutes, it's hard to be sure, but unless you want The Queen involved, I predict a heap of change from 100k!
MikeOliver, Nov 01 2009

       Does anyone seriously think for one minute that this is not baked, multiple times over, constantly? It's well described, [WombatDeath], but I don't understand how this is a new idea.
pocmloc, Nov 01 2009

       I think you have to appreciate the scale of the operation here. You're not rounding up fifty random hookers off the street and throwing them into a room - you're selecting fifty gorgeous people who meet the specific requirements of the customer, who are willing to perform the acts the customer requires; and who can act their part convincingly. Realistically, I think that for top-flight 'participants' the bill for them alone will be close to a million.   

       Then you've got to build a convincing set (how much does a good Hollywood set cost? - don't know, but there's probably another million there). Then you need to scout the location, hire the people, script the event, conduct rehearsals, do the wardrobe/make-up/effects, arrange the banquet, the entertainment, etc, etc, etc.   

       I think you could easily spend $3m doing this properly (and remember that we're targeting the extremely wealthy, who will certainly expect things to be done properly). This isn't a cheap imitation of a Roman orgy, it's the closest that we can reasonably get to a reconstruction. I doubt that your $100k would pay for the planning.
WombatDeath, Nov 01 2009

       To be honest, I suspected that this must be very well baked. I thought of the idea one drunken evening a long time ago, and assumed that there must be outfits that will arrange something on this scale. But I couldn't find anything on the web, and still can't.   

       So, to anyone thinking (quite reasonably) that this must be baked to death already - can you find somewhere specific that will create any fantasy that you desire? If so, I cheerfully withdraw the notion.
WombatDeath, Nov 01 2009

       Can Cheryl Cole be involved? If so I will beg, borrow and steal the 5 million!!!
MikeOliver, Nov 01 2009

       //But I couldn't find anything on the web, and still can't.// I would expect this kind of service wouldn't be online: there are only ~1000 billionaires in the world, most of whom probably don't look at websites much and get too many offers of this sort already, and putting up a website would just attract interest from the plebeian gawkers and regulators.   

       Also, for most self-made billionaires, I suspect an //ultimate fantasy// is a few more billion of techno-industrial awesomeness, not some adolescent fantasy.
sninctown, Nov 01 2009

       I disagree that this is baked. The idea is not simply rich people indulging their fantasies (of course they do that all the time). The idea is in forming a company that specializes in making it happen.   

       What would make this really excellent is if the millionaire didn't have to commission it for himself. Knowing the whole situation is artificial presumably takes something away from the fantasy. Instead, an elaborate set of events would be constructed so the millionaire found himself serendipitously in his ultimate fantasy (similar to the Michael Douglas film 'The Game').
xaviergisz, Nov 02 2009

       "The plane boss! the plane!"   

       I'm not a millionaire (or anythingaire, really), but even if I had that kind of money, my "most cherished fantasy", if I had one, is unlikely to involve event planning. Would knowing that you just blew a jintillion on having a large number of actors play out a mediocre script really be worth it? I mean, actually *being* in the situation, that might be something else - but you wouldn't be, you would know it's fake. It's like tickling yourself, it just doesn't work.   

       Apart from lots and lots of porn movies with that sort of plot, the conceit that very rich people pay a lot of money in the pursuit of ultimate fantasy situations with very committed, very good actors (or, in this case, people programmed to perfectly inhabit a character) is the basis for many episodes of Joss Whedon's recent US TV series "Dollhouse".
jutta, Nov 02 2009

       When you said 'horrible to read' [jutta] I thought that you were referring to the content.
That site is SERIOUSLY horrible to read
gnomethang, Nov 02 2009

       That is one of the ugliest sites I've yet encountered.   

       With regard to the idea, I see it contains nothing about fulfilling my fantasy of becoming a millionaire.
wagster, Nov 02 2009

       I suspect the most common fantasy among very rich and powerful people involves getting a bit richer and more powerful. As for sexual fantasies, I'm very unsure that an exciting fantasy would necessarily become an exciting reality - and it would be a big disappointment if your $5m fantasy fulfillment turned out to be not nearly as alluring as when it was just a fantasy.
hippo, Nov 02 2009

       //When you said 'horrible to read' [jutta] I thought that you were referring to the content. That site is SERIOUSLY horrible to read//   

       Ha hah is it in comic sans or something?   

       :Doesn't look
Loris, Nov 02 2009

       I looked - and now my eyes hurt.
hippo, Nov 02 2009

       Isn't this the premise of Westworld, but with robots? Doesn't Westworld get invoked on the HB every time someone comes up with this idea? Let me see..
bungston, Nov 02 2009

       I concur with hippo's assessment.
[Insert Python "Money Programme" sketch here]
DrBob, Nov 03 2009

       Meh, Millionaire X Fulfilment - a business model where really quite tricky things are performed by the application of quite ridiculous amounts of cash in order to ameliorate the more irksome details into being.   

       It is similar to the Gangster X Fulfilment business model only cash is used directly rather than threats (and acts) of physical violence.   

       This too is similar to the Drug-Dealer X Fulfilment as well as other X Fulfilment strategies involving a powerful human motivator of some kind.   

       The most generic version might be described as "X Fulfilment using Motivator Y" in which something, Y, is used to get people to do X (where the remarkableness of X is in direct proportion to the motivational power of Y - either in quantity or potency, or both - e.g. Wanking for Coins would require either quite a lot of coins, or some method for making the individual unable to get coins from another source, whilst harbouring a deep need for coins, or just find someone who's happy to do that for free)   

       It also opens up the question of exactly what is possible, even with the most powerful motivators known to man. WombatDeath, is there anything you wouldn't do for lots of money - Or, is there anything that you can't do now (e.g. walk a tightrope across the grand-canyon) that you still wouldn't be able to do if someone suddenly gave you a brief-case containing $10 million billion trillion?   

       Why should the millionaire, considering he's spending all this cash, limit his fantasies to the realms of the possible?
zen_tom, Nov 03 2009

       I'm thinking Max Mosley...
theleopard, Nov 03 2009

       Either Esculent affairs gutted the website after it was linked or they never made it clear what they do.
WcW, Nov 03 2009

       Mmmm... "intimate picnics"...
theleopard, Nov 03 2009

       This is the poster's third idea since 2007. Please maintain the pace.
normzone, Nov 03 2009

       good catch [normzone]!!
xandram, Nov 03 2009

       Anyone notice the preponderance of fish among the Business: Prostitution ideas? Why does such a titillating topic inspire so little welcome tittery? It's as though venturing into the Prossie category is enough to doom you to failure.   

       Does anyone want to construct a gizmo that will tally/average the scores for each HalfBakery category & tell us where we can find the most buns or fish?   

       Maybe such a gizmo already exists, lost in this bakery of Babylon.
luxlucet, Nov 05 2009

       most people perceive that selling sex is a bad idea. In many ways the social stigma is far greater than the personal stigma and far less logical.
WcW, Nov 05 2009

xenzag, Nov 05 2009


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