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Morticulture Services Inc.

Ye must be born again ! You decide what as
  (+23, -3)(+23, -3)(+23, -3)
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When it's time to shuffle off the mortal coil, make advanced preparations by deciding what you are going to come back as in your next life with total certainty, by contacting Morticulure Services Inc.

Once your remains have been received at Morticulture, the seed or seeds of your choice are inserted, along with a starter fertiliser pack to ensure rapid growth. Specially designed caskets and burial procedure guarantee that in no time at all you will be germinating and sprouting again as a living tree, or other large shrub of your choice.

Family members and friends will ensure that your are regularly pruned and well maintained, or for an extra fee our skilled technicians will sculpt you into a topiary replica of your own head if you decide to come back as a hedge.

xenzag, Aug 24 2006

head at Heligan http://www.lindapla...%20at%20Heligan.jpg
time for a hair cut! [xenzag, Aug 24 2006]

My other parent is a tree http://www.ideasfac...rtdes_feature23.htm
Also has a link to biopresence.com at the bottom [fridge duck, Aug 25 2006]

Love this picture. http://www.worth100...84555/tree-spirit#c
[2 fries shy of a happy meal, Aug 25 2006, last modified Jan 23 2015]

[baconbrain] //less unhealthy// http://www.smh.com..../1111086065471.html
I'm not sure which works out worse for the environment, I expect cremation does, in the short term atleast. [fridge duck, Aug 25 2006]

(???) Woodland Burials www.woodlandburials.com
The last resting place of my mum. [benindubai, Aug 29 2006]

(??) A better link for woodland burials http://www.woodland...s.co.uk/default.asp
[Klaatu, Aug 29 2006]

http://www.martinaz.../products/bios-urn/ Does this remind you of an idea not too far from where you are reading now? [xenzag, Feb 21 2013]

another story about that urn http://bigthink.com...-tree-after-you-die
"This Awesome Urn Will Turn You into a Tree After You Die" [smendler, Feb 22 2013]

https://urnabios.com/ does this remind you of anything? [xenzag, Jan 22 2015]

[link]






       [+] Very nice.
bleh, Aug 24 2006
  

       My mom and dad are now a pair of rose bushes. (+)
James Newton, Aug 24 2006
  

       I have a feeling that I'm heading towards the cacti department
xenzag, Aug 24 2006
  

       Pruning will keep you regular after your re-birth.   

         

         

       Badum...pssssh
methinksnot, Aug 24 2006
  

       <<<{{+}}>>> I really like it, but just can't decide...hmm...orchid, hibiscus, maybe a new hybrid.
xandram, Aug 24 2006
  

       Why upside down, [phlish]?   

       Cucumber for me.
Texticle, Aug 25 2006
  

       As nice as it may sound - you can guarantee that there will be some kind of health and safety / environmental issue with this.
fridge duck, Aug 25 2006
  

       Cremation is a much better option than burial, and is less unhealthy for the environment, I think.   

       My nephew's ashes went around the roots of a tree as we all helped to plant it.
baconbrain, Aug 25 2006
  

       I know someone (I'm not saying who for fear of the *MAN*) who buried their grandmother under a newly planted cactus in grandma's front yard of her favorite house. She really loved that house, I mean, I was told that she really loved that house.
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Aug 25 2006
  

       [fridge duck] I'm not sure I'll sleep ok after seeing that link. What if they mutate?
Zimmy, Aug 25 2006
  

       Thanks for the link, [f d]. It looks like they were only checking on crematoriums, and not accusing. I wonder what happens to that same mercury for a burried body. Well, it's probably not as bad as mercury vapor wafting across towm.   

       I just read Mark Twain' _Life_On_The_Mississippi_ and was startled by what he said about diseases being spread through buried bodies. I wonder where he got his facts, but don't suppose things have improved much.   

       I used to work next to a large cemetery in Seattle. I wouldn't be caught dead in such a place. I prefer cremation, but would accept an isolated, country burial and a packet of seeds. [+]
baconbrain, Aug 25 2006
  

       /[Texticle], if I say "I doon't knoow" are you going to dump a bucket of green slime on my head? /   

       What an odd thing to say.
Texticle, Aug 27 2006
  

       oh, I just want to be a christmas tree over and over again..
sweet, Aug 28 2006
  

       Very baked. My mother was buried in a cardboard coffin under a Mountain Ash in 2000. See link!
benindubai, Aug 29 2006
  

       I was told that it had belonged to her at a prior time just before her death but was not technically hers at the time of death. No one was living in it at the time of the funeral, which made it easier to sneak in and have the funeral. Or so I'm told...
NotTheSharpestSpoon, Aug 29 2006
  

       As a cruel joke they can bury me 2 feet under without a box and then plant a tree above me. 2 years later call a landscaper and ask him to move the tree.
Jscotty, Aug 29 2006
  

       See last link.
xenzag, Feb 21 2013
  

       He has to urn his money somehow, I suppose.
not_morrison_rm, Feb 22 2013
  

       Ha - it looks like their product actually pre-dates mine...
xenzag, Feb 22 2013
  

       It would be nice to do this yourself if you know you're going to die - you would swallow a pill which would break down in your stomach and, later, in your decomposing corpse revealing the seed which is at its centre, which would then grow, fed by the nutrients coming from your remains.
hippo, Feb 22 2013
  

       This idea deals almost exclusively with becoming plant substrate, but what about becoming the organic hatchery for a swarming cloud of biting carnivorous flies.
rcarty, Feb 23 2013
  

       Cryogenically preserved until such time as I can be used to get a crop of genetically reconstituted T-Rex's familiar with the taste of human.   

       [+]
FlyingToaster, Feb 23 2013
  

       see last link....
xenzag, Jan 22 2015
  

       //Why upside down ?// So the world can kiss my ash.
FlyingToaster, Jan 22 2015
  

       Scatter me in a barley field, so I can be beer.
normzone, Jan 22 2015
  

       Had you down for a mushroom patch! Ha
xenzag, Jan 22 2015
  

       Well, the opium poppy fields are on the other side of the planet so that's out. And I guess only the pros grow pot anymore, and it's supposed to be all cloned.   

       I should look into getting some tobacco seeds - I can scarcely smoke the stuff, but it would be fun to roll my own cigars.   

       The topiary option would be hilarious.
normzone, Jan 22 2015
  
      
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