Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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pre-death funeral

Avoid lifelong regret by paying last respects to living person.
  [vote for,

At funerals, people always talk about how they wish that they could have said one last thing to the deceased before they passed on. "if only I could have told him how much he meant to me" "if only i had asked him where the money was hidden" etc...

This could all be avoided by having funerals for people who are on the verge of death, but not yet dead. The dying would be able to see how much everyone cares about them, and all the mourners would feel more fulfilled knowing their respect for the deceased had been conveyed.

After the funeral, the dying person would kill themselves in a dramatic but painless manner, avoiding any awkwardness that would surround running in to someone after you had attended their funeral

CoffeeBreak, Jul 28 2003

mystery suicide http://www.halfbake...a/mystery_20suicide
by stupop. Perhaps painful, definitely dramatic [my face your, Oct 17 2004]

Baked http://www.ananova....tory/sm_755072.html
[FloridaManatee, Oct 17 2004]


       // dramatic but painless //
Explain, please.
phundug, Jul 28 2003

       "Nice cocktail party. Don't I know you from somewhere?"   

       "Yes, you were at my funeral last month."   

       <blush> "My condolences." </blush>
grip, Jul 28 2003

       Those people who regret not having said one last thing were at funerals for people who _unexpectedly_ died.   

       When someone is on the verge of death, often people visit or call to resolve unfinished business.
grip, Jul 28 2003

       "So Bob, can I get those golf clubs back?"
snarfyguy, Jul 28 2003

       Aw, Bob. *sniff*
k_sra, Jul 28 2003

       // When someone is on the verge of death, often people visit or call to resolve unfinished business //   

       Yeah, visit with a silenced pistol to complete the "unfinished business"
DeathNinja, Jul 28 2003

       On the 18th August I am attending a golf day entitled:
'The 3rd Reg Denny Memorial Day'
in honour of our good friend and golfing accomplice who was diagnosed at a ripe old age with leukaemia.
The only thing is that he underwent the necessary treatment,
got (quite a lot) better and is due to play in this tournament too, albeit with a buggy.
We have now had the opportunity to say everything to his face that we wanted to say when we thought that we would never see him again.
Usually this is 'Fancy another Drink, Reg?. It's my round'
This is a true story.
gnomethang, Jul 28 2003

       you had me right up until the last paragraph. Perhaps it's time for a [coffeebreak]
neilp, Jul 28 2003

       Pretty lame. Why would you want to give others a chance to "make up" with you if you are going to kill yourself anyways? What would be your motivation?
Pericles, Jul 28 2003

       Baked in Futurama
simonj, Jul 28 2003

       I'd like to go to more people's predeath funerals. + A fat lot of good my bun will do for you though.
sartep, Jul 28 2003

       Would the reading of the will take place before the actuall death? "Gee Granpa why is Timmy getting the house, the boat, the stocks, and I'm only getting ......THE CAT!!!" I think I just found the motivation for the // dramatic but painless // suicide.
sub_text, Jul 29 2003


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