Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Multi machete for camping and survival

Machete handle contains survival goods, has bolt on axe head
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(+3)
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Machete has longer and wider than normal handle for a two hand grip to swing the axe when the axe head is bolted to or otherwise attached when an axe is needed.

The axe head is removed, covered for safety when the machete only is being used.

The long, wide handle is hollow and contains, a small packet(s) of chlorine bleach (2 drops of bleach per 1 liter or quart) to purify water

A lighter or other fire starter(s) such as a very flexible plastic pocket Fresnel magnifiying glass

Whistle

Small green laser pointer

A piece of reflective Mylar -- or a small Mylar blanket -- to signal airplanes, searchers or team members

The Mylar can also be used to collect rainwater, morning dew and carry water in the form of a pouch.

High calorie powdered protein drink to mix with the purified water,

A compass built into the handle.

Added 2020 4 9: Could be used as a walking/hiking pole/staff with a screw on handle extension. A wire saw would be a good compact addition to survival supplies.

Thanks 8th of Seven for the sharpening steel and scabbard additions

Sunstone, Apr 06 2020

Multi-tool https://sodabred.tu.../614733908791164928
[xenzag, Apr 07 2020]

[link]






       You missed the sharpening steel (or rather, diamond "steel"). Honing a blade on some random rock rarely gives anything like an optimal edge. It can be integrated with the firestarter.   

       Otherwise, doubleplusgood. [+]   

       We'll take five crates for evaluation.
8th of 7, Apr 06 2020
  

       Hopefully it's lightweight enough to allow one to escape the zombie hordes.
RayfordSteele, Apr 06 2020
  

       Don't worry [Ray], the Democrat caucuses have all been postponed ... no chainsaws, cricket bats, or axes needed.   

       Mythbusters showed that a chainsaw is the best weapon against zombies, anyway ...   

       // covered for safety //   

       Hmmmm ...   

       Presumably this comes with a scabbard. Most of the accessories can go in the scabbard, along with a pocket for the axe head.
8th of 7, Apr 06 2020
  

       8th, I live near Detroit. The zombie hordes here are real; they're just microscopic.   

       No no no to the chainsaw-- then you have to continuously scavenge for both gasoline and oil to get that 1-40 blend. And the maintenance. oil the chain... clean the plug... don't leave it out in the rain... this is not an ideal apocalypse weapon.   

       Rick survived a long time with a machete, but I think a good returnable distance-weapon is what we need here; something like Oddjob's hat but obeying standard laws of physics.
RayfordSteele, Apr 06 2020
  

       And a slot for your credit card. You'll want to be able to eat and get a hotel.
doctorremulac3, Apr 06 2020
  

       // something like Oddjob's hat but obeying standard laws of physics //   

       The returnable bit is tricky. An edge can so easily lock into bone. There's supposedly a Chinese bolas-like explosive hat, but that would be single use.   

       The Glaive from "Krull" would fit the requirement specification, but then so would a lightsabre.   

       You're right about the provisioning issues for the chainsaw; plus you need blade lubricant, and the blood and tissue is going to cause rusting if not thoroughly cleaned after use.   

       Anti-zombie weaponry is a field calling for further detailed resarch. We note market opportunity.
8th of 7, Apr 06 2020
  

       Return-catchable isn't necessary; just reasonably retrievable. So it needs a bit of weight I guess and a sturdy edge. Maybe a throwing ax?
RayfordSteele, Apr 06 2020
  

       I recently drew up a multi-tool for a similar varied use. Will post pic I when I find it amongst piles of drawings...... drawing found and link posted.
xenzag, Apr 07 2020
  

       There needs to be a guard round the lamp, [xen], or it will get broken; and the saw obstructs the hammer, they need to swap round.
8th of 7, Apr 07 2020
  

       Ha - you noticed all of that! Well done. I never would have thought you were so practical.
xenzag, Apr 07 2020
  

       Makes me curious about the vibrational shock rating of an LED light.
RayfordSteele, Apr 07 2020
  
      
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