Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Naked Soccer (Football)

Today's match is brought to you by Playboy, Hustler, and Coors Light.
  [vote for,

Well, since the WUSA collapsed, there's a surplus of great (looking) female soccer players in the US. Women's sports tend to fail because men, who do most of the sports watching, don't care about the women's leagues. However, if they were to play naked from knee up, you'd get a lot more viewers. These viewers would give the league the required financial support to pay the salaries needed to keep the ladies in the nude. Playing in the mud/rain would be particularly interesting, and perhaps the championship game would be required to be played on a wet field. Sorry if it's sexist, but I don't think a similar men's league would get nearly as many viewers.
buddymatt, Jan 17 2004

Naked games at the bakery http://www.halfbake..._20and_20overweight
A similar men's league that was, in fact, very popular. [ldischler, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

[Po]'s link (sorry i accidentally clicked delete) http://www.timesonl...8304-966427,00.html
[buddymatt, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]

Topless Darts http://www.simonhar...tv/toplessdarts.htm
Warning : Those who don't want to look at breasts, please don't click here. [jonthegeologist, Oct 05 2004, last modified Oct 17 2004]


       of course, women play sport in order to titillate their male audience.
po, Jan 17 2004

       I have played soccer....and doing it naked would hurt. They would have to have the games spread apart enough to let the girls heal after they recieved the bad grass burns and bruises from the ball, not too mention how bad it hurts to run when you have nothing to support your boobs from bouncing away wildly. And if you avoid these problems, then it would not be soccer.
babyhawk, Jan 17 2004

       not sure how playing it naked would hurt more...how do shorts protect you from a bruise that is caused by impact force? also grass burns happen anyways, i mean normally your legs are exposed, and when playing soccer that's what's most likely to get injured.   

       the boobs, on the other hand, i had not thought of....
buddymatt, Jan 17 2004

po, Jan 17 2004

       //not sure how playing it naked would hurt more//   

       it does not keep them from happening, but it helps with the grass burns. sliding on your back and sliding on your exposed thigh are two very different out comes...you lose skin on your thigh but not on your back. But mainly because having them that beat up and abused would make them less appealing. I think at least. I don't find a girl that is bruised up, scratched, bleeding, and scabby to be "hot".
babyhawk, Jan 17 2004

       [po], let me rephrase: i hadn't thought there could be any possible problems with ladies running around topless ;]
buddymatt, Jan 17 2004

       far too distracting.
jonthegeologist, Jan 17 2004

       In the UK women's football is completely derided to the extent that even breasts probably wouldn't make people watch it. What am I saying?! It would be as big a hit as topless darts was on Live!TV.
hazel, Jan 17 2004

       topless snooker! shhh. I didn't say that!
po, Jan 17 2004

       I think it would be quite a hindrance in snooker to be honest [po], though I'm so rubbish at any snooker/pool based games that it couldn't make things much worse. And I daresay I'd get a couple of beers bought for me.
hazel, Jan 17 2004

       i'd give you one [hazel] ... <administers slap to wrist for Carry On style outburst>
jonthegeologist, Jan 17 2004

       get your coat [jtg] you've pulled
hazel, Jan 17 2004

       [tsuka] you took my comment.Great minds think alike.
python, Jan 18 2004

       I think the solution would be padded shorts with selective coverage, and transparent sports bras to minimize black eyes.   

       I am all in favor of this idea, mostly because I used to play soccer. Naturally I have a particular fondness for the sport, and this modification would certainly give a certain spice to the game. A nice hot croissant for you and your nice hot idea.
Eugene, Jan 18 2004

       Either you are psychic, or you weren't aware that Sepp Blatter, former chairman of FIFA, suggested pretty much the same thing in an interview just around a week ago
ivanhoe, Jan 19 2004

       ahem, my deleted link; reposted by buddy.
po, Jan 19 2004

       I'm all for Sepp Blatter's suggestions (see [po]'s link reposted by [buddy]) as long as the male players start playing in skin tight tops and see-through shorts. Well, not all the male players. The likes of Kanu and Wayne Rooney can stay covered up.
hazel, Jan 19 2004

       Hey! Kanu is so talented he doesn't need to look good! (I'm an Arsenal fan so I won't be defending Wayne Rooney).   

       Anyway all of this is stupid. Titilation and sport are separate things entirely. Women should have the same opportunity to play sports as men and in so doing they should be judged on their sporting merits not their looks. If nobody wants to watch conventional women's sport then don't televise it - its a viewer's market. If you want to play naked for titilation purposes then don't call it sport, call it porn - it keeps life much simpler!
dobtabulous, Jan 19 2004

       //If you want to play naked for titilation purposes then don't call it sport, call it porn - it keeps life much simpler!//
..or at least call it 'Naked Twister'
gnomethang, Jan 19 2004

       //topless snooker//

Q: What do you call a woman who can balance a pint of beer on each breast while playing snooker?

A: Beatrix Potter (Beer-tricks ... )
hippo, Jan 19 2004

       hrmmm -
Ossalisc, Jan 19 2004

       Baked. A college here in the US (I forget which one) plays an annual game of naked soccer on the quad.
disbomber, Apr 03 2005


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