Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Optimus Prime for President

My fellow Americans! Transform and roll out!
  (+6, -8)
(+6, -8)
  [vote for,

I think we've all been rather disappointed by our recent choices in our representatives. (On both sides of the political spectrum, in our last two elections, well over 2/3rds of the people I know voted for the 'lesser evil'.)

I think we need someone better. Someone who's had military experience, but still comes home to protect the ones he loves. Someone who knows how to act selflessly (as we all know, Optimus Prime is a firefighter), and someone who we can all respect and trust for going places that our hearts are too timid to tread.

Optimus Prime is already a household name, for being honest, respectable, and a big, big man.

That's why I say Optimus Prime should be our next president.

Almafeta, Oct 06 2005

Optimus Prime's Bio http://en.wikipedia..._Prime_%28person%29
More about the man. [Almafeta, Oct 06 2005]

Baked! http://www.gwjokes....s/optimus-prime.php
[Madai, Oct 07 2005]

Inferno the Autobot Firetruck http://www.tfracetr...ction/85inferno.htm
[Jinbish, Oct 31 2005]

Optimus Prime - Leader of the Autobots and President Elect http://images.amazo...RNV.01.LZZZZZZZ.jpg
Not a firetruck. [Jinbish, Oct 31 2005]


       Is he even an American? I thought he was from the future.
Worldgineer, Oct 06 2005

       Was this inspired by a facebook group of the same name?
discontinuuity, Oct 06 2005

       Yet another example of machines taking over people's jobs - and the president's no less! What kind of message would this send to the common people? Is no one's job secure?
fridge duck, Oct 06 2005

       Oh noo, its iRobot all over again!   

       By the way....transformers were cool.... at their time
chocolateraindrops, Oct 06 2005

       Isn't optimus prime like the US President already?, this is from the Transformers movie:
Optimus Prime: Now all we need is a little energon, and a lot of luck.
Megatron: More than you imagine, Optimus Prime.
schmendrick, Oct 07 2005

       The world needs the Autobot leader in this time of darkness. Plus it would be helluva cool to watch him take office by squashing Jnr. with his giant metal foot. [+]
DocBrown, Oct 07 2005

       DocBrown, you fail to note the obvious:   

       Optimus Prime is a robot who imitates John Wayne. I have made this observation personally, and I am far from alone. "Optimus Prime" and "John Wayne" in a search engine will render a handful of hits from astute robot-watchers.   

       George Bush is also a robot who imitates John Wayne. This can also be verifed in any search engine. "George Bush" , "John Wayne" gets hits, "George Bush", "Robot" gets hits.   

       So, I'm going to have to call this baked.
Madai, Oct 07 2005

       John Wayne never turned into a truck.
calum, Oct 07 2005

       "Although lord knows that wouldn't have survived in the current halfbakery either."   

       [hiddentruths]: I miss the days of Tails For All and Film Noir House (even though I don't like the latter).
Almafeta, Oct 07 2005

       Really? Personally I think Film Noir House to be quite possibly the best idea here (except for PP but that was considerably less halfbakey). And I wouldn't have called it particularly implausible. At least not compared to this anyway.
hidden truths, Oct 07 2005

       //John Wayne never turned into a truck.//   

       Considering the spirit of the posted idea, and my comment, this is surely a minor technicality.
Madai, Oct 07 2005

       [Madai] I think the difference is that Prime knew when to stow the gung-ho stuff and try some diplomacy - I remember at least a couple of episodes where he attempted negotiations with the Decepticons or was out trying to do nice things for the humans. Plus, most of the time, the Autobots were purely reactive, in a military sense. It terrifies me that a giant cartoon robot is required to show the Leader of the Free World(TM) the error of his ways, but that would appear to be the situation.
DocBrown, Oct 10 2005

       Optimus Prime wasn't a fire truck!   

       His trailer was a commmand centre ... disguised as a trailer! A completely different Autobot called Inferno was a fire-truck.   

       (linky linky!)
Jinbish, Oct 31 2005

       Phew, I had been feeling a sense of unease over the firetruck assertion for some time now. Yes, Optimus was red...but there was something not quite right about the whole thing. Thanks [JinBish]   

       Just a snippet of tangential info. Did anyone else realise that J Michael Straczynski (Babylon 5 creator) started work penning scripts to He-Man and the Masters of the Universe?   

       I really want to know which genius of the English language got involved in writing the scripts to Transformers.
zen_tom, Oct 31 2005

       DocBrown, Bush has negotiatiated with the decepticons. He has worked with the Palestinians, the Pakistanis, and the Syrians. He tried to negotiate with Mullah Omar. Sure he didn't negotiate with Osama himself, but that's because Osama couldn't be reached.   

       He has also gone above and beyond in the way of offering aid. We helped the Iranians after the Bam earthquake, for instance.   

       The more you weigh the evidence, the more it looks like Bush is indeed Optimus Prime. You have to ignore several world events to arrive at any other conclusion.
Madai, Oct 31 2005

       I disagree [Madai]. I think Bush is more like Starscream - always up for destruction or fighting but needing the other Decepticons such as Soundwave and Megatron to restrain his excesses.

Other than the fact that Bush is clearly a Decepticon, rather than an Autobot there are other points of differentiation:
- Prime had human friends as well as robotic ones.
- Prime carried the Matrix around in a cavity in his chest. It may be observed from "Transformers: The Movie" that the Matrix is roughly the size of Hotrod's head, and therefore way too big to fit in Jnr's chest cavity.
-Prime was maintained by tools, whereas Jnr. simply is one.
DocBrown, Oct 31 2005

       enough already.
theircompetitor, Oct 31 2005

       Your three points are actually just like Bush:   

       Bush has human friends, such as his wife, Laura Bush. He also has robotic friends, such as Dick Cheney and John Ashcroft.   

       The matrix is clearly something of a mystical nature. George's overly public faith is a perfect parallel, it is even too big to fit in his chest cavity :)   

       Bush is maintained by tools as well, as is every human. Mechanics are just doctors for vehicles.   

       You're going to have to try better than that in differentiating the two. You have me more convinced than ever they are the same person/robot.
Madai, Oct 31 2005

       //You're going to have to try better than that in differentiating the two.//   

       Optimus Prime is one of the good guys...
Jinbish, Oct 31 2005

       Jinbish, if Bush one of the "bad guys", who in Washington DC is one of the "good guys"?
Madai, Oct 31 2005


       Oh wait, that's not WDC is it?   

       Anyway, this bio excerpt proves that this arguing for/against OP == GWB is complete bollocks (in case anyone hadn't figured that out by now):   

       "[Optimus Prime was...] Originally created by the Quintessons as part of their consumer goods line of robots. First named Orion Pax, he admired the Decepticons, unaware of the full extent of their plans. Just prior to the first Cybertronian Civil War, Orion was critically injured in a Decepticon attack. Transfered into a new body by Alpha Trion, he was renamed Optimus Prime. Sometime afterwards, he became the uncontested Autobot Leader. During his 4-million year deactivation period, other Autobots took his place on Cybertron, but upon his return, the leadership was given back to him.   

       Presumably, when he became Autobot Leader, the Autobot Matrix of Leadership was passed on to him from the previous commander.   

       Optimus Prime died in 2005 after a fierce battle with Megatron during a Decepticon invasion of Autobot City. The Matrix was passed to Ultra Magnus only seconds before Prime's death. He was reanimated temporarily by the Quintessons in 2006 for the express purpose of leading the Autobots into a trap. During this time, Rodimus Prime, the present Autobot Leader, returned the Matrix to him. Soon after, the Quintesson plot was revealed and Optimus, in an attempt to save the Autobots from the trap, piloted a ship to certain destruction after giving the Matrix once again to Rodimus.   

       Some time after, Optimus's body was discovered by a team of human scientists testing out a new form of shielding. His body was brought back to Earth, where strange spores were found on his body. The spores were soon found to cause madness and violence in those infected. One of the scientists, a man who blamed the Transformers for his daughter's need for bionic implants, infected the robots with the spores, but also inadvertantly caused every being in the galaxy to fall prey to the same illness, called the "Hate Plague" by those uninfected. After Rodimus was infected as well, Sky Lynx sought the aid of the Quintessons so they could reanimate Optimus Prime, whom they hoped could regain the Matrix in order to combat the plague. Prime, protected by the same shielding that was being tested when he was found, was revived and sent after Rodimus. After a brief battle, Optimus took back the Matrix and released its energy, causing the madness to dissipate. Optimus has remained Autobot Leader, and holder of the now powerless Matrix, ever since. "
zen_tom, Oct 31 2005

       Zen_tom, if the for/against argument is bollocks, the entire idea is bollocks.   

       I made my original comparision of GWB and OP with that in mind.   

       Of course, it's a cautionary tale: once GWB is dead and buried, don't dig him up or infectious spores will kill us all... or something.
Madai, Oct 31 2005


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