Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Paper Jam

Grind up sheets of paper and sprinkle corn syrup on them
  (+15, -2)(+15, -2)
(+15, -2)
  [vote for,

A curiously repulsive blend of cellulose fibres and sugars, in a spreadable form. Tasteless, yet filling. Spread on bread or toast, it tastes just like a mixture of shredded paper and sugar.

Served up in a container shaped like a printer, whenever you really, REALLY don't need it.

NB: This idea would not exist if (a) there wasn't a HB category Food:Office Supplies: Paper, and (b) Lexmark could make a printer that could print more than a dozen sheets without suffering a Total Reality Failure.

8th of 7, Nov 18 2008

Nice category choice! Instruction_20Granules
Must be why my idea fell short... [theleopard, Nov 19 2008]


       Do you appreciate the irony of this being a mixture of polysaccharides and di- or monosaccharides? Possibly even with the same monomer?
nineteenthly, Nov 18 2008

8th of 7, Nov 19 2008

       //A curiously repulsive blend of cellulose fibres and sugars, in a spreadable form//

So just like soggy cornflakes then?
DrBob, Nov 19 2008

       + here's a cellulose bun to spread it on...gross but inventive idea. tasteless insures it's not a flavor!
xandram, Nov 19 2008

       [+] As a matter of fact, I'm cursing at a Minolta Color laser printer right now because it's alternating between jamming the paper and smearing the ink on the sheets that it's letting through. So I guess I could have a bagel with paper jam or a smear.
theGem, Nov 19 2008

       // Nice category choice! //   

       Well, you either got it, or you ain't ..... <collective sniggering/>
8th of 7, Nov 19 2008

       sick ;-)
blissmiss, Nov 20 2008

8th of 7, Nov 20 2008

       I'm sure I've ingested some medicinal version of the final product... {Turns out to be 'Lactulose'}
Jinbish, Nov 21 2008

       I'm pretty sure I had this once at a chow-hall at Ft. Stewart georgia. I ate it then, I'd eat it now.   

MikeD, Nov 23 2008

       //[...] a mixture of polysaccharides and di- or monosaccharides// I wish I did - could someone explain?
pertinax, Nov 24 2008


       Cellulose, the principal polymeric component of wood, and by derivation, paper, is a polysaccharide - a long chain of simple sugar molecules.   

       The "sugars" with which humans are familair in their diet are glucose, fructose, sucrose, lactose (mono- and di-saccharides) ... depending on their origin. Thus, "jam" is very rich in these sugars, the irony of the idea being that the cellulose in the paper is also a long-chain sugar. Thus this idea is also "sugar jam".   

       Any more biochemistry questions, don't hesitate to ask.
8th of 7, Nov 24 2008

       Thank you. (I'm assuming on etymological grounds that a monomer is a linear unit of which one, two or many would make up a mono-, di- or poly-saccharide).
pertinax, Nov 24 2008

       Is biochemisrty in anyway related to biochemistry?
coprocephalous, Nov 24 2008

       Yse it is.
pertinax, Nov 24 2008

       High in fiber.
nick_n_uit, Nov 30 2008


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