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Paranormal Anticipation Obfuscator.

There's no good ghost but a VISIBLE GHOST.
  [vote for,

As we have discovered, some ghosts are friendly and helpful and others are malicious. There are several locations in the world that are reputed to be vortexes of highly concentrated malicious energy.

Many ghost hunters sadly live their lives under the false impression that they can investigate these malicious energy vortexes and find some evidence of evil ghosts. Not so! For some reason they overlook the obvious - if a ghost is TRULY malicious, it will want its victims to be as miserable as possible. Well, what could make a ghost hunter more miserable than an UNEVENTFUL GHOST HUNTING MISSION? Nothing.

These malicious ghosts know this. And they can somehow sense when a person really, really wants to see a ghost. (The way that dogs or cars can smell fear.)

If a person is really afraid of ghosts, the ghosts will appear and scare them. If the person is dying to see a ghost, the ghosts will remain hidden. The EEG of a normal adult in a fully conscious but relaxed state is made up of regularly recurring oscillating waves known as alpha waves. When a person is excited or startled, the alpha waves are replaced by low-voltage, rapid, irregular waves. These irregular waves take on a rather unique shape when the excitement is triggered by anticipation of a paranormal phenomenon. The PAO then, is simply a small pebble that can be activated at will to act as the center point of a sphere of energy which serves only to block the anticipatory energy (these special waves) from leaving the sphere. The sphere is, of course undetctable by any means other than a PAO-field detector.

Everyone should agree with me that such a device is imperative if humans are ever to be fully able to consciously explore the reaches of horrific oblivion.

green_umbrella, Dec 18 2002

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       Sorry, I don't have a TV. Can you provide a link?
green_umbrella, Dec 18 2002

       BWAHA. Nice one.
green_umbrella, Dec 18 2002

       Riiight, yet you started a thread called "Vampire PDA."
green_umbrella, Dec 18 2002

       I'm interested in how cars smell fear...
barnzenen, Dec 18 2002

       -[barnzenen]-, you know how when you are trying to cross a street, and there's a car a little bit up the road headed your way, but you have enough time to skirt across the street? Well a car can tell if you're afraid of it, and if you are it will usually speed up so that you can't make it across the street in time.   

       -[thcgenius]- If you can find me an avid ghosthunter who will believe you or be at all discouraged by a person telling him that ghosts don't exist, I'll give you an oatmeal cookie filled with 100 dollar bills.
green_umbrella, Dec 18 2002

       Green_umbrella, I think I like you.... Don't know why, but you seem to appeal to me.
barnzenen, Dec 18 2002

       Thanks, there!
green_umbrella, Dec 18 2002

       [thcgenius] - yes! That's my point. Telling a ghosthunter ghosts dont exist won't make him miserable, the same way that telling a super religious person that God doesn't exist wont make him miserable either. They just won't listen. Bah, anyway:   

       Grow up, people. ------------------------------------------------------------------------ goobereater, Dec 18 2002[delete]   

       We are being told to grow up by a guy who calls himself GOOBEREATER?!
green_umbrella, Dec 18 2002

       [UB]: Goober *could* mean Gomer Pyle's less charismatic cousin. Wait, that isn't any better. Guh.
Pharaoh Mobius, Dec 19 2002

       [goobermonger], Peter Pan, Godzilla and ET are 20th century fictional characters.
Ditto vampires 19th (I think) century
Santa is a myth which has grown up around a real person
Witches and Warlocks exist, though whether they have the powers vested by popular myth is another question
Angels, devils, and god(s) are part of some very prevalent and very current belief systems
Very few of these have anything to do with the Dark Ages.

       Ghosts may or may not exist, they may or may not be what is popularly claimed, ie the spirits of dead people. We don't know. As a device to detect and confuse the emission of alpha brainwave patterns (for whatever reason) this idea may have some merit.   

       If only there was some discussion on how/whether it could be achieved.
egbert, Dec 19 2002

       Well, [waugs], although I happen to agree with you, absence of evidence is not evidence of absence, but the same could be said about many things.
angel, Dec 19 2002

       Not to play the pedantic devil's advocate at the wrong time, but 'goober' also could mean 'peanut.'
RayfordSteele, Dec 19 2002

       //Sort of a cross between crud and crouton.//
Ah, so you've had Ponderosa croutons, then?
Pharaoh Mobius, Dec 20 2002

       I have, for many years now, been out hunting ghosts but, thanks to thcgenius I can now see that my time has been wasted. Fortunately it hasn't been a completely futile waste of time as I am rather fond of oatmeal cookies and am willing to share with anyone who might come into the possession of one in the near future.

On a side issue, and with half an eye to stoking up the flames a bit...

//They don't exist, and there is not the slightest shred of evidence to the contrary.//

Just what Saddam is saying. I believe him!
DrBob, Dec 20 2002

       I think it's pretty obvious that there are forces at work in the world that Science has yet to discover, and most of these unknown forces probably account for the majority of paranormal experiences. But until that proof is found, I find it hard - nay, impossible to accept alot of the absolute nonsense spouted by ghost hunters, religious fanatics, and the like. Everyday we reap the benefits that science and technology have provided - to choose to accept it when it suits us, and deny it when we want to believe something that is hard to prove is idiocy.   

       That said I'm open minded - as I said, I don't doubt for a second that there are things going on around us that have yet to be detected or explained. One theory (and everyone feel free to humiliate me if it's stupid) that I kinda had was that human conciousness has developed an 'escape method' at the time of death. I read somewhere that the brain dies gradually, with the outer, more complex lobes shutting down systematically, speech, hearing, sight etc. etc. So when near-death survivors experience white light, and voices, it's all part of the process of the brains systems shutting down.   

       Now....I also read/watched something else which was talking about the vibration of molecules - how it's possible that different forms of matter exist on 'layered plains' of reality, with some existing outside of our range of perception because their rate of molecular vibration is so high.   

       (put up with me, this is going somewhere)   

       So, I wondered, if you make the assumption that conciousness itself is something that resides in the brain, as opposed to merely the result of complex electro/chemical reactions, I thought perhaps conciousness senses the approach of death and somehow performs a 'shift' in its molecular resonance (if that's the right word?) to escape the dying body and continue to exist in a form of space and time outside our perception. **maybe** when people have ghostly paranormal experiences, it's these layers of reality intersecting, becoming out of phase or whatever.   

       Im sure that probably sounds as mumbo jumbo as anything else in here, but it's just a wild crazy thought and has some extremely loose scientific basis, plus i used lots of long words so it cant be totaly shite. If anyone knows any more about that stuff than me (likely) or thinks it's utter balls (even more likely) go right ahead and say. ;)
Laser Flannel, Dec 20 2002

       [UnaBubba], [goobereater] appears to have cleaned house following a rather 'spirited' debate.
half, Dec 20 2002

       Aha. Looks like someone's let the trap door out from under me. I guess I'll delete my now superfluous annos then, too. =/
[UB]- It really did follow a logical sequence, at the time. Really!
Pharaoh Mobius, Dec 20 2002

       [boogereater], could you link to an article about that please?
green_umbrella, Dec 20 2002

       /just because yer crazy don't mean yer stupid/   

       ...but it helps.   

       Oh, sorry. ;-). Forgot.
egbert, Dec 20 2002

       Hmm. While I'm all in favor of humans exploring horrible oblivion (particularly certain members of the city council), something about this doesn't ring true: it's often said that certain psychic activities, seances, in particular, don't work well if a skeptic is present. Now, I thought that most ghost hunters were something less than skeptical about the whole business about the existence of ghosts...so it can't be that.   

       I can only think that the kind of ghost hunters you're describing are really cowards: they believe in ghosts, but they don't really want to see one. My logic for this is, that if they're only sniffing about the places where there are the sort of ghosts who resort to hiding in order to torment the ghost hunters, they're avoiding the places where the really powerful ghosts are, who know all about how to scare somebody more than merely making their avocation appear questionable.   

       It's a good idea, but I'd like to see it come with a suitable disclaimer in regards to life/limb and an extra ingredient: ghost-nip, a sure-fire attractant for any bigger ghosts who may be roaming the ethereal plains near by.
meowhous, Jan 06 2003

       sp: vortices
discontinuuity, Oct 26 2005


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