Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Personal Hubris Alarm

Forewarned is forearmed
  [vote for,

A small device that can notify the wearer via a flashing light/alarm/small electric shock when they have said something unbelievably cocky. The wearer is then in a full state of readiness for the impending failue/disaster that inevitably follows such a statement. The device could be trained to spot typically cocky statements like 'hey everyone, watch this', 'I can do better than that' or 'I'm the best....'
nichpo, Mar 05 2003


       OW ! Darned thing keeps shocking me .....
8th of 7, Mar 05 2003

       Look! No hands! BZZZZT!
oneoffdave, Mar 05 2003

       Sounds like the latest in fate collision avoidance technology. Many a greek myth would have had happier endings.
Worldgineer, Mar 05 2003

       This is an unbelievably poor ide...OUCH.
egbert, Mar 05 2003

       Okay, how does it recognize such statements?
galukalock, Mar 05 2003

       A discrete microphone, connected to speech recognition. You would train it to your voice and the set of ridiculously arrogant statements that one is in the habit of making
nichpo, Mar 05 2003

       You won't be laughing when I get 2 and a half cr - BZZZT - Ouch !
nichpo, Mar 05 2003

galukalock, Mar 05 2003

       and maybe a sarcasm meter for morons.
cameron, Mar 05 2003

       Can I get one of these that will inconspicuously shock *someone else* when they do this near me, or should I carry a cattle prod for that?
X2Entendre, Mar 05 2003

       I just leave the batteries out now. It kept eating them.
RayfordSteele, Mar 05 2003

       [thumbwax] is at the gas station, filling and bragging about his ride when suddenly there's a fireball sufficient to drop [8th of 7]'s jaw...
lurch, Mar 05 2003

       brilliant. you are what makes this competition.
lizzaurenpizzagni, Mar 05 2003

       Rods: Reminds me of the "Kixxck!" sound this morning as my son hurried out the door and crushed the skull of a sparrow, deposited there by our hunter, gatherer cat.
FarmerJohn, Mar 06 2003

       Not WIBNI or magic. As explained, this device is pre-programmed to respond with voice recognition to a variety of phrases that would get the wearer in trouble. Entirely bakeable with a wearable computer, a microphone and a cattle prod. Should be able to scale the thing down to about wrist-watch size in a couple of years.
Cedar Park, Mar 06 2003

       You think it'll take that lon..OUCH!
egbert, Mar 06 2003

       //filling and bragging//
bitching and moaning
would be more accurate, though it beats having a rice-bur *OW!*
thumbwax, Mar 06 2003

       Hm. Mine doesn't seem to be working.
waugsqueke, Mar 06 2003

       Battery's flat already?
egbert, Mar 06 2003

       No, the input amplifier saturated and then overloaded and burnt out, fourteen nanoseconds after poweron ......
8th of 7, Mar 06 2003

       Thanks Cedar Park. It is entirely bakeable. I challange all those who fishbone me to justify ... bZZZT ouch again ! BTW I'm also working (under royal comission) on a special 'Personal Racist Remark Alarm' for Prince Philip. I suspect this is unbakeable though as it will have to be pre-cognitive and he is highly unpredictable.
nichpo, Mar 06 2003

       Searching my encyclopedic memory (ie, Google)... ah yes, “How to win friends and electrocute yourself”, Cheers episode 7 of season 7. So now, which Cliff Clavin here did you have in mind? <snickers>

HEY! Now cut that out.
pluterday, Mar 06 2003

       Beautiful. Simply set it to recognize personal pronouns describing oneself (I, me, mine, etc.) and shock accordingly, though simultaneously accompanied by a loud audio signal would be even better.   

       "Watch this" is often rewarded in a different fashion, one that usually requires band aids, stitches or a ride in an ambulace.   

nuclear hobo, Jun 27 2007

       Yeah [nuclear_hobo]. Give one to Alanis Morissette.
squeak, Jun 28 2007


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