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Plastic Salad Ha Ha Bonk

Inhale the nitrogen or nitrous oxide
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I'm not going to lie and say this idea is entirely unconnected to "Fill Your Home With Nitrogen", so before anyone else points this out, I'll do so pre-emptively.

Idea # 1:

Various food and drink comes with added gaseous nitrogen nowadays to keep it fresh. Breathing pure(ish) nitrogen is supposed to lead to a relatively painless and distress-free death. Therefore, for those wishing such a fate, I suggest that they buy a respirator, a series of straws and several hundred packets of salad. They then attach the straws to the respirator and carefully pierce the salad packets with the straws at the other end, then just lie back and breathe their last.

Idea # 2:

Packaged salad comes with added gaseous nitrogen nowadays to keep it fresh. Breathing pure(ish) nitrogen is supposed to lead to a relatively painless and distress-free death, so it probably wouldn't be good if you were to inhale the nitrogen a lot. However, there is also a compound of nitrogen which is recreational in action - nitrous oxide. I therefore suggest that instead of packaging salad with nitrogen, the sad, previously suicidal loner takes her packet of sad, plasticky veg back to her bedsit and opens it alone, only to find it contains not nitrogen but laughing gas, and therefore achieves that holy grail of becoming a woman laughing alone with salad, which might make her a bit happier for a while.

nineteenthly, Jun 03 2016

Women Laughing Alone With Salad https://www.google....ZKTD6oQsAQIJg&dpr=1
What I just said. [nineteenthly, Jun 03 2016]

Fill Your Home With Nitrogen Fill_20your_20home_20with_20nitrogen
The other idea [nineteenthly, Jun 03 2016]

[link]






       Ideally, packets of salad would be randomly filled with nitrogen or nitrous oxide for a sort of thrilling "Russian Roulette Salad" experience.
hippo, Jun 03 2016
  

       // Breathing pure(ish) nitrogen is supposed to lead to a relatively painless and distress-free death. //   

       Wrong. Breathing pure(ish) nitrogen does lead very quickly to a completely painless and distress-free death. The victim simply feels very tired and dizzy and in immediate need of a little lie down (from which they never wake up).   

       This makes nitrogen extremely dangerous - the only protection is an oxygen-deficiency alarm.
8th of 7, Jun 03 2016
  

       Well in that case, that's what needs to happen in the first case, and yes, Russian roulette salad has got to be a good thing.
nineteenthly, Jun 03 2016
  

       Actually, the Russian Roulette Salad choices should be nitrogen, nitrous oxide, chloroform and helium, so you die, laugh, pass out or talk in a squeaky voice.
hippo, Jun 03 2016
  

       The title contains a lot of unnecessary redundancy that isn’t necessarily required nor needed, nor necessarily required.   

       It could be made more efficient by adding a letter ‘s’ to the beginning of ‘laughter’.
Ian Tindale, Jun 03 2016
  

       // nitrous oxide, ... and helium //   

       Or if mixed, laugh in a squeaky voice ...
8th of 7, Jun 03 2016
  

       There you go [Ian].   

       [Hippo], sulphur hexafluoride too, surely?
nineteenthly, Jun 03 2016
  

       Excellent. As is the concept of Russian Roulette Salad gas.
calum, Jun 03 2016
  

       I think that many of these salad ideas should be tossed.
AusCan531, Jun 03 2016
  

       Can we work in a #3 involving craft beer on nitro? With or without salad.
whatrock, Jun 03 2016
  

       idea's dumbass, title's cool [+]
FlyingToaster, Jun 03 2016
  
      
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