Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Pocket Ninjas

Your own personal 50 cent(US) assasin.
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Some back-story involved:

Recently some friends of mine were sitting on the porch knocking back a few beers and tossing ideas back and forth on how best to surprise and over-come their personal defenses to destroy and/or humilliate. Some of the ideas were: an RPG at 100 yards, claymores in your bed, replacing tap-water with acid (not LSD) and the worst: Being assaulted by aging United States Senators in clown-suits (just picture it).

This conversation reminded me of an event earlier this year when, as a gag, one of my classmates here at school gave his best friend a small plastic ninja and told him that if he did not pay it ample amounts of bribery that it would kill him. The best friend kept that ninja in the breast pocket of a suit-jacket that he wears every day along with a twenty-dollar bill.

The inspiration came to me after the first conversation I related was long over. Why not create a consumer good sold in those same plastic egg-shaped objects that you find in the $0.50 toy dispensers at groceries and mini-mals which is a tiny plastic golem whose sole duty is to assasinate one person of your designation. Morbid, I know. But think of the uses! Young persons of questionable morals could deal out their retribution in style with their very own personal Ninja!

The one restriction would be that batteries are not included. Perhaps that is too frustrating.... I suppose we could stock-pile the proper size battery somewhere in orbit around Neptune for the day when the world is ready for such a massively powerful tiny plastic assasination force....

Limit: One per customer

Severian, Jul 10 2002

Ninja Attack! http://www.sas.upen...et/irin_51199c.html
Perhaps this was the work of your ninjas? [AfroAssault, Jul 13 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Real Ultimate Power! http://www.realultimatepower.net/
CAUTION! MIDI ALERT! [AfroAssault, Jul 13 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Tiny ninjas http://www.tinyninjatheater.com/
[jaksplat, Feb 07 2005]

[link]






       Sounds uncanilly like the film "Small Soldiers", but then again, watching the PHB geting progressively dismantled by a minature Ninja with a razor-sharp Katana has a certain attraction.   

       I have a box under my desk where you can put the batteries. I assure you they will be perfectly safe.   

       You might want to offer these to the Evil Genius Supply Co., it sounds like a line they'd be keen to stock.
8th of 7, Jul 10 2002
  

       Is that a Ninja in your pocket...?   

       Teenage Mutant Pocket Ninja Turtles... for the kids...
polartomato, Jul 10 2002
  

       <confused>Is this supposed to actually work or is this just a plastic toy on which to focus your hate and agression.</confused>
st3f, Jul 10 2002
  

       Limit: three per customer means whopping sales figures
thumbwax, Jul 10 2002
  

       Um, WIBNI? Not least for the price tag.
pottedstu, Jul 10 2002
  

       What? You mean there's a guy going around with $20 in his pocket? Thats £13 that i could have. He must be quite an easy target if believes that the plastic ninja will actually kill him. To america!
[ sctld ], Jul 10 2002
  

       can i get one for free?
postseti, Jul 10 2002
  

       Only if you buy two.
DrCurry, Jul 10 2002
  

       imagine lilliputian ninjas
technobadger, Jul 10 2002
  

       You know, just to thoroughly cover your market, you may want to also sell tiny Anti-ninjas. That way if someone sics a tiny ninja on you, you can protect yourself with the Anti-ninja.
Aurora, Jul 10 2002
  

       an RPG at 100 yards? how do you roll the dice and move the characters around?
benfrost, Feb 07 2005
  
      
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