Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
h a l f b a k e r y
Apply directly to forehead.

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Serving Anti-Suggestions

  [vote for,

It is quite common to see phrases such as "An ideal accompaniment to meat, fish or vegetables" on various piquant sauces available on the high street. I have never yet seen warnings as to the inadvisability of combining certain products. This, surely, is a grave dereliction of duty on the part of food producers, amounting, perhaps, to criminal neglect in these litigious times. The day cannot be far off when we see a multi million pound law suit brought against Birds, by some poor unfortunate who has covered their cabbage with custard, with stomach churning results.

Awake, you titans of manufactured nourishment, before the hour is too late! Warning labels along the lines I suggest should be fixed to all your products. All the warnings should contain a further warning "Pregnant women may ignore the above warning".

Mickey the Fish, Jul 13 2003

My collection of disclamers, warnings, and other legalese http://techref.mass...echref/legalese.htm
I love this sort of thing and I believe my collection is complete. Please let me know if I have missed any. [James Newton, Oct 04 2004]


       Do not eat grapes immediately after brushing teeth!
beland, Jul 13 2003

       That I would read, wouldn't everyone? +
sartep, Jul 13 2003

       You mean like the instructions on medication, "Do not use if you are pregnant, take Aspirin or use any Anti-prespirant"?
Do Fish get pregnant or prespire?
kbecker, Jul 13 2003

       Found on the bottom of a box "Do not turn box over"   

       Japanese warning "Not for the other use"   

       Instructions for airline peanuts "Open package; Eat nuts"   

       Will have others soon.
DesertFox, Jun 06 2004

       I like this idea. It would definitely be interesting to read all of the different notices. The problem I have (and the reason I'm staying neutral) is with the fact that the list of 'non-perfect accompaniments' would be so extensive, it wouldn't even be funny. For example, after-dinner mints would be bad with just about anything. They don't even migle well with other types of mints, let alone, say, pork or something like that. Basically, it's easier to list the things it DOES go well with than list the things it doesn't. Plus, isn't it so much more fun to figure it out yourself? Because drinking a glass of milk after brushing your teeth is SO delicious.
Pocketassreturn, Jun 06 2004

bristolz, Jun 06 2004

       I'm amazed beer/soda doesn't say "Do not shake before opening".
It would be fun to see a TV dinner with a yucky yucky picture on the box, saying "Serving Anti-Suggestion" :)
phundug, Jun 07 2004

       I've often done this when friends or family order food for me. All ya gotta say is "I like every thing except _______."
Letsbuildafort, Jun 07 2004

       [phundug] weird that, especially since the 7UP in front of me has "Contents under pressure. Cap may blow off causing eye or other serious injury. Point away from face and people, especially while opening." printed on it twice. I have tried to shoot a cap in this way (though avoiding eyes etc.) many times. The closest I've come is to have it spin almost open and that was an accident.
stilgar, Jun 29 2004

       "Caution: Do not attempt to iron clothes whil you are wearing them." Ok, fair enough, except my friend tried it anyway since there was a warning sign to tell him it was dangerous.   

       "Warning: Do not mix vinegar with eggs."   

       "Caution: Radishes are not to be stir-fried."   

       "Attention: Do not eat citrus fruits after brushing teeth."   

       Ohh, if only I had known!
ye_river_xiv, Dec 24 2006


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