Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Shag My Bird

Blind Date, with added frisson of violence
  (+33, -8)(+33, -8)(+33, -8)
(+33, -8)
  [vote for,

This is a reformatting of the ever popular "Blind date" TV program, for a low rent audience. Possible US title: "Do My Chick".

A man has to pick one of three birds, but he gets to eyeball the totty first. Here's the catch: He also sees film of the three jealous boyfriends, but doesn't know which boyfriend goes with which girl. Anyway, he gets to poke the selected bird (televised).

Next week, he's got to come back to the studio, where the relevant boyfriend is in the audience (brought in unknowing, on some devious pretext). The footage of the steamy sex session is shown, and the enraged cuckold leaps from his seat with murder in his eyes. A fight then ensues between the rivals. Simple, and probably a winner in the ratings battle.

I don't know how well this would work with the sex roles reversed. Possibly replace the fighting with naked mud wrestling....

Mickey the Fish, Jul 10 2000

A Stanford Online Report http://news-service...h8/crickets-38.html
Will cricket fighting unlock the mystery of human depression? [synergy, Oct 17 2004]

SHAGGED BIRD! http://www.rexfeatu...om/features/451052/
Well, it's shagged, isn't it? [fishspeaker, Oct 17 2004]

(?) Fool Around... With My Girlfriend... http://www.channel4...y/week1/story2.html
...is now coming to TV in the UK. I guess the more eloquent, concise title of 'Shag my bird' didn't make it past the focus group. [st3f, Nov 14 2004]


       I was about to suggest that you'd never get anyone to appear on this - e.g. it would seem that only women who want to dump their boyfriends would apply as even if they didn't get chosen, their boyfriends might be a little miffed that they wanted to 'appear' on the programme - however, I've seen enough TV to realise that some people will do ANYTHING to get on the telly, so it might actually work.
hippo, Jul 10 2000

       Rad! It'd sell like hotcakes in the US. They sort of already have it (Jerry Springer/Jenny Jones' "surprise-I'm cheating on you with this guy" shows) but they don't advertise or hype the violence. Also the "dating game" aspect works well. I'd watch, at least once, maybe while drunk.
naveline, Jul 15 2000

       I'm going to change my vote from Rotting Fish Carcass to Croissant - this idea is beginning to appeal to me. Also, I've realised that it's a lot more imaginative than many things currently on TV in the UK - for example, the much-hyped "Big Brother" from Channel 4.
hippo, Aug 01 2000

       I thought they already did this on Jerry Springer, as naveline says But I like the idea of naked mud wrestling
doctorjohn, Aug 31 2000

       Looking forward to seeing it soon to get down to jerry springer level the original couple would have to watch video of their partners - along the lines of 'they think they're here to..... but viewers, we've set them up the fighting would be even more violent and people would take sides. frances
frances, Aug 31 2000, last modified Sep 01 2000

       You should prevent the audience to side with the safe, neutral side ("Jerry! Jerry!"). Instead, let them all choose sides first. The goal is to get the whole audience fighting amongst each other. To increase audience involvement, make betting with high stakes a requirement for example.
rrr, Sep 04 2000

       This could work if the gender roles were reversed, as well. In which case the show would probably be called "Catfight!" I'm not too comfortable with the idea of infidelity as a spectator sport, but I gave it a croissant anyway since is sounds too damn fascinating to pass up. It's kinda like what the producers WISHED Temptation Island could be like.
kitsune, Apr 20 2001

       Take my bird... Please! Just don't shag my bird dog, Doris.
Dog Ed, Apr 20 2001

       Sounds like Jerry Springer to me!!
Monkeyboy2, Jul 27 2001

       Half-Baked: An episode of low-brow TV show `the Word`, from about 7 years ago now, featured a Mr and Mrs style segment, and one of the questions asked of the boyfriend of a year or so was `which of these 3 guys has your girlfriend slept with in the last 3 months`! He didnt seem too impressed.
Pallex, Jul 27 2001

       The Word - now *that* was telly
Redbrickterrace, Jul 27 2001

st3f, Jul 27 2001

       Could be a nice solution for ladies who want to get rid of their psychotically violent boyfriends. Perhaps the show could sponser it's own prison where it could keep them all 'banged-up'.
nichpo, Aug 18 2003

       TV at its finest.
spiff, Nov 17 2003

       I thought this baked by Jerry Springer ... although not as structured as this idea, fistfights, nudity and cussing would all erupt per show. Bun for telling me what I'm getting each time I turn it on!
Letsbuildafort, Apr 16 2004

       As a general rule, anything with Naked mud wrestling women gets my vote.
macncheesy, May 04 2004

       Thats not your bird, thats My bird. Its the tweet tweet. I cannot resist it.
The Kat, Nov 14 2004


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