Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Shave Squad

Dystopian Random Punishment
  (+3, -9)(+3, -9)
(+3, -9)
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The shave squad are enforcers of the evil government who drive around in black vans waiting for details to come up on their info screeens of men and women who need to be 'cleansed'. They arrive at the house or place of business with their equipment and bust in showing their shave squad identification and spouting pro-evil government assertations - 'we shave for the good of all' 'viva le razor!' etc.

Cameras mounted to their helmets send vision back to the evil television stations that either go live or is recorded for editing later on public television. A compact gynocalgical-like table is unfolded, shave utensils are prepared and lamps are switched on. The shavee is strapped to the table, clothing removed, legs spread and shaved of all pubic hair. In this publicly evil scenario, the shavee is somewhat delighted because after experiencing such embarassment they may recieve prizes and experience fame similar to participants in other real life television programs - 'Big Brother' ' Survivor' etc. This of course depends on the quantity of hair removed from the person and the feedback of the television viewers who rate each shave via internet and phone polls.

Merchandise would also be available for your favourite shavee, and hair claimed by the evil government would be sold to the highest bidder with money raised being spent on politicians families and biological weapons.

benfrost, Jan 08 2002


Somehow, I just *knew* it would be him.
angel, Jan 08 2002

       Since people pay large amounts of money for the painful and humiliating full bikini wax, I don't see this being that bad a punishment in comparison. Wasn't there a rock group recently whose video included a hundred or so women getting waxed in the lower abdominal region? (Possibly Aphex Twin or Fatboy Slim.)
pottedstu, Jan 08 2002

       surely people who already expend their disposable income in keeping their follicular products under control would be disadvantaged when it came to the part about the prizes. However, I suppose we would have been far less embarrassed at the initial stage of unveiling, in the knowledge that our soon-to-be-depilated areas were already well-kempt.
btw, pottedstu, it's not expensive, it lasts longer than shaving, doesn't hurt after the initial swipe (endorphins react after first 'reference' attack), and is in no way humiliating since we do this by choice. If you know someone who is not waxing their happy place by their own personal choice I suggest they need to re-evaluate their relationship.
lewisgirl, Jan 08 2002

       lewisgirl: OK, I'm not personally experienced in this. It doesn't sound like my idea of fun (having a stranger fiddling with my bits), but if people are happy to do the full everything-off wax, fair enough. I'm also sure there are people who would be happy to have their pubes shaved on TV, but I won't personally be trying that either. (Incidentally, plenty of people do humiliating things by choice.)   

       I knew I shouldn't've commented on this.
pottedstu, Jan 08 2002

       UB, I know what you mean. "$50 bucks" is enough to bring tears to the eyes of any pedant.
beauxeault, Jan 08 2002

       Could you get go-faster-stripes if it was just a misdemeanour?
Guy Fox, Jan 08 2002


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