Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Sonic Varminter with Unabubba Collimator

A low energy sonic weapon
  [vote for,

This idea inspired by the exchange between UnaBubba and Dag on the Sonic grenade idea (see link) and the observation that severe injuries can be caused by audio levels not much above conversational level. Who hasn't had their bowels well and truly liquified by the statement "I'm leaving you"? So we could develop the sonic weapon along the lines that the message or nature of the sound does the work rather than the intensity.

The Sonic Varminter consists of a rifle stock with a built in mp3 player, the magazine receives a standard memory card with the ammunition recorded onto it and a selector switch selects the particular track to deploy. The barrel contains an amplifier and high efficiency speakers to project the sound. The collimator is the last and crucial element that focuses the audio energy into a band so tight that only the target can hear it.

As an illustration of its uses I will give you a scenario.

Sealy opened his eyes and extracted his head from beneath the pillow, for the third night in a row the mind numbing thumping of the oversize beatbox outside pumped hysterically into his room. He had to sleep and he had to sleep now, it was them or him and he knew who was gonna get the fishbone. Opening his window, not bothering with quietly-he was way past that, he settled crosslegged on his bed and drew the sonic varminter from its slip case. Originally purchased to scare cats away from his garden the weapon gleamed in the manufacturers oil coating, the walnut stock contrasting oddly with the futuristic looking condensers on the collimator. Drawing a bead between the ears of a fat youth poking through the scattered cd's around the ghetto blaster outside, he slid the selector to Alan Bennet and squeezed the trigger.

Fatso stopped dead in his tracks and peered around uncertainly. "Whats that, man?" "Whats what?" his companion demanded. "That dreary english voice, can't you fucking hear it"? "Yor nuts you dickhead"

In fatboys head the monotone was relentless "My names Alan Bennet and now I own your head and I'm going to stay here unless you run far far faraway"

Wailing, the lardy bulk of the stricken adolescent lumbered for the exit doors, dark urine stains appearing down his oversize drop crotched jeans. "Whaassupp with you man?" one of the remaining crew called after him, looking nervously around for support.

One down, thought Sealy, this shouldn't take too long. His thumb slid over the selector switch, hesitating at Descartes "Discourse" then all the way to Gouldens "Essential Pre-University Chemistry Primer". Mere possession of the latter was strictly against Federal law, but what the hell, these varmints deserved no mercy. No mercy at all.

IvanIdea, Apr 17 2002

Sonic grenade http://www.halfbake...e_20Sonic_20Grenade
[IvanIdea, Apr 17 2002, last modified Oct 04 2004]

Ammunition for this weapon http://www.farpoint...org/sounds_misc.htm
Anything in the William Shatner section, especially "Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds" or "Mr. Tambourine Man"
I TAKE *NO* RESPONSIBILITY FOR YOUR MENTAL STATE IF YOU LISTEN TO THESE MP3's!!! [mwburden, May 02 2002, last modified Oct 21 2004]

HSS Hypersonic Sound http://www.atcsd.co...content/view/13/29/
Highly collimated sound projector [csea, Oct 04 2004, last modified Oct 29 2007]


       Every Film Noir Home Owner should have one. Does it come with complete with the Out-of-house mobile Film Noir commentary feature? Or is that an expensive option?
goff, Apr 17 2002

       Toss in a yodeling track, a Mariah Carey song track and a barfing cat track and I'd buy one.
phoenix, Apr 17 2002

       There is a massive range of audio ordnance available for free download from the manufacturers website.   

       Although the American military are currently testing the poetry of Andrew Motion against Al Queda, Will Self reading his own work has just been added and there is a small selection of less lethal ammo for domestic use. This includes anniversary reminders for example Michael Schumacher "Hey its Phoenix's birthday next week, doesn't she deserve a new car how about an Audi TT?" and general guidance, Carl fogarty saying "Its a lovely day but the grass is looking a bit long. Better cut it before I get the motorcycle out".
IvanIdea, Apr 17 2002

       Love your scenario but I'll wait for a cheapy version, a handgun that extends a flag printed with the lyrics of Chitty Chitty Bang Bang.
FarmerJohn, Apr 17 2002

       Bravo. Definately adding one of these to the weapons rack. So many uses, so little time.
dag, Apr 17 2002

       Don't forget the optional 'Gilbert Gotfreid reading Vernon' upgrade. [Phoenix], I thought those three were all the same track.
RayfordSteele, Apr 17 2002

       The HalfBakery Edition would include special modules containing:
"What not to say in other countries"
"Halfbakery Users Limericks"
phoenix, Apr 17 2002

       Hee hee, reminds me of HHGTTG...
Crazy Bastard, Apr 26 2002

       It was before I joined the HB; I've looked through lots of old ideas but if they're dormant, I don't tend to add to them unless another contributor starts a new thread.
8th of 7, Feb 13 2003

       I had a think but couldn't come up with anything worse than Alan Bennet. The complete mobile phone ringtone collection was as close as I could get, really.
DrBob, Feb 13 2003

       Not forgetting the Thora Hird module.
oneoffdave, Feb 13 2003

       And the short-range antipersonnel Peter Sallis option.
8th of 7, Feb 13 2003

       The collimator is baked. I've played with one, and it works! See HSS link.
csea, Nov 13 2003

       It's just a coincidence.
angel, Nov 16 2004


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