Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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  [vote for,

How pleasing and good
to hear a match commentary
five seven and five

Call all trained poets
Bring forth their thesauruses
explain the action

for soccer, syllables count
four, four and then two?

Zircon, Sep 30 2002


       Most commentators
have as much poetic skill
as Schwarzenegger
sild, Sep 30 2002

       The halfcon idea
A match commentary haiku
I had thought it lost.
st3f, Sep 30 2002

       Jumpers for goalposts
Nurse applies cream to grazed knee
Isn't it though? hmmm?
sild, Sep 30 2002

       thanks, Zircon, with you
Radio Five on M1
Most enjoyable.

And Stef, by whose hand
is bimetallic teaspoon
idea to be writ?
lewisgirl, Sep 30 2002

       Sport and poetry
Like oil and water can't mix?
Yes, Naiku shoe ad.
FarmerJohn, Sep 30 2002

       By my own hand
the bimetallic teaspoon
half-baked this day.

       Michael Schumacher
Slows crossing the finish line
Barrichello wins!
st3f, Sep 30 2002

       One of the great goals in World Cup history went thus...


or, alternately, for the last ten minutes of any Liverpool game in the late '70's or early '80's, this circular haiku would describe the moment nicely...

Lawrenson back to Hansen
Now Grobbelaar, to…
DrBob, Sep 30 2002

       Denver 23
Baltimore is 34
Ravens win the game.
waugsqueke, Oct 01 2002

       the one true haiku
this autumn then, Bob's first
(woe for other side)

       [UB]actually, I was thinking of suggesting the older 'tanka' format; 5-7-5 followed by a 7-7 response. As I thought this would fit the passing back and for of the commentary between two commentators better. we discussed the true nature of Haikus at the halfcon, I didn't know about the last line sad thing but the seasonal words were covered. The form seems quite fluid though, with translated haikus not maintianing the syllable structure, so that they can keep their meaning and all.   

       Maybe the sportku could have a rule that it must have a colemanball in the middle somewhere, and as DrBob indicated if a point/goal is scored the last few syllables should be stressed heavily.   

       What was that haiku you said to me on the halfcon link? it was clever.
Zircon, Oct 01 2002

       'E's done tremendous
- at the end of the day it's
a game of two halves

For those of you watch-
ing in Black and White, Spurs are
in the yellow strip.

I'll sit on the fence,
they could lose or win or draw.
It's fifty-fifty.
hippo, Oct 01 2002

       Bloody hell, that was quick...
Zircon, Oct 01 2002

       That's 'cos I wasn't responding to your annotation - the last anno I saw was your previous one - I just had the same idea (great minds... etc.).
hippo, Oct 01 2002

       trajectory set;
rest of the team start brushing
around target spot.

slippy boots, bright coats,
Scottish ladies' team won gold
at curling; new craze?
lewisgirl, Oct 01 2002

       Speeding o'er the waves.
Crowd roars. Aussies closing fast.
But it's Redgrave's gold!
DrBob, Oct 01 2002

       hunched, point-three seconds
split time ahead. Skis on curve
..caught edge - aah! crash pads.
lewisgirl, Oct 01 2002

       Like the snow outside,
the wrestler strewed salt around,
then crashed upon it.
FarmerJohn, Oct 01 2002

       on the farmer's field,
like winter hail, line breaks fall,
split hasty anno.
Zircon, Oct 01 2002

       Fencing like Zorro,
Zircon marks his "Z", quick and
red as falling leaves.
FarmerJohn, Oct 01 2002

       Bold UnaBubba!
He tires of 5-7-5.
Zen-like: 4-0-0

Sport, non-sport are one.
Big smiles, twirls, stupid costumes.
Synchronised swimming.
hippo, Oct 01 2002

       hippo's biting wit
unabubba will avenge
thinly veiled but soon.
lewisgirl, Oct 01 2002

       Clever lewisgirl,
quick with her annotations.
Thesis gathers dust.
hippo, Oct 01 2002

       On a bronze type day
Players gather fallen leaves
Place in piles and leap
blissmiss, Oct 01 2002

       The Spring training coach,
wisely, without hectoring,
gives encouragement.
FarmerJohn, Oct 01 2002

       madden is the man,
dennis miller couldn't hack
i'm glad he got fired.
Mr Burns, Oct 01 2002

       The air thick with smoke
of leaves and Levi's of bliss.
Look before you leap.
FarmerJohn, Oct 01 2002

       Anaheim stands proud
Most boys of summer gone home
Angels in autumn
globaltourniquet, Oct 01 2002

       Stark and bleak and white
Snow flies effortlessly by
Covering skiers
blissmiss, Oct 01 2002

       Zircon fears the beast,
Imagined in the cold south,
Already so long,

       He notes fondness of bakers
For ideas poetic

       In our white walled worlds,
we all need something to do,
to distract from work,

       See now how Zircon attempts
a first five verse sport tanka

       Close call, but at end
points out that Torrence and team
Beat the U.S.A.
Zircon, Oct 01 2002

       Half home far away
Is really right before me
Its phantoms' words dance

       I made a joke once
"Hut", means, "Let's go men", in french
He almost believed
hollajam, Oct 03 2002

       The sun lit blank eyes.
Gladiator life like sweat
ran into the dust.
FarmerJohn, Oct 03 2002

       I was having a think about this last night and, although sild is right about the general standard of sports commentary, there are times where they manage to get it absolutely spot-on. The commentary on some of the great moments in sport is really quite haiku-like in that they capture the essence of the moment, and although commentary's don't follow the rigid 5-7-5 format, they do seem, at the critical moments, to have a remarkably similar number of syllables. So, I'm going to call baked on this, and in evidence I present you with this classic moment in sports commentary...

"Oh, there's some people on the pitch. They think it's all over. It is now!"
DrBob, Oct 03 2002

       <standard Scotsman's response> AAAAAAAaaaaaaaaaaaaagggghhhh! Goannae shut the Hell up about that, you English types? It was near 40 years ago! </standard Scotsman's response>   

       I'm not bitter.
calum, Oct 03 2002

       The problem is, calum, that Scotland haven't had many great moments and have combined that with having rubbish commentators. Fortunately, their one truly outstanding moment was redeemed by a far better commentary twenty years later in 'Trainspotting'.

"Wow! I haven't felt that good since Archie Gemmill scored against Holland."

17 syllables again, you see. It's funny how that 15 - 20 syllable range keeps cropping up on memorable comments. Perhaps it's just that anything longer is just too hard to remember and anything shorter isn't descriptive enough. I'm sure someone must have researched it.
DrBob, Oct 03 2002

       Celtic or Rangers?
An incorrect answer will
Get you well chibbed

       Sectarian war,
That inherited disease,
Infects our fair land.

       When will we be free
From religious hatred
And rife bigotry?

       When the Clyde runs dry,
And Irn Bru is no longer
Sold in glass bottles.
shameless_self_reference, Oct 03 2002

General Washington, Oct 03 2002

       Steam, like dragon's breath,
the samurai exhales as
sword slices his neck.
FarmerJohn, Oct 04 2002

       G W, look
Of all the ones, *Sportcasters!
Pitch is clear now. Play!

       Zircon, time has come
Income opportunity
*SPORTKU Merchandise!
hollajam, Oct 04 2002

       Gunners. For the Cup.
Div. One; I can't choose between
lewisgirl, Oct 04 2002

       Nineteen Ninety Three
Motherwell victorious
Tears flow from my eyes


       Chances scorned by most
Couldn't watch game's last minutes
Arabs hit the post
ChewTheBeef, Oct 04 2002

       Can you answer this:
Should HalfBaking be a sport?
Nah. It doesn't pay.
phoenix, Oct 04 2002


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