Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Speak in Haiku

Bring poerty to your everyday conversations
  (+17, -5)(+17, -5)
(+17, -5)
  [vote for,

Speak only in Haiku's. You will bring beauty into everyone's day, at the same time you are forced to be extra thoughtful about everything you say and therefore likely to skip any idol chatter.

Good morning dear wife
It is now time to arise
Would you like coffee?

Try it for a day.

[a roommate of mine came up with this back in school. I was recently reminded of it with the limerick posting]

blahginger, Sep 14 2000

Haikus for use at breakfast http://www.drtoast.com/toasthaiku.html
Haikus about toast (from "Intensely focused/ I anticipate my toast/ Somewhere a dog barks" to "Angry toastless man/ Malfunctioning appliance/ Senseless killing spree") [hippo, Sep 14 2000, last modified Oct 21 2004]

Presidential Haiku http://haiku575.blogspot.com/
[Scott_D, Sep 14 2000]

Poetic Legalese http://www.halfbake...a/Poetic_20Legalese
Everything should be poetic... [Detly, Sep 14 2000]

The Shiki Internet Haiku Salon http://mikan.cc.mat.../Start-Writing.html
A short guide to writing haiku. [DrBob, Sep 14 2000, last modified Oct 21 2004]

The Brighton Festival Haiku Delivery Service http://www.brightonhaiku.com
Even more haiku. [DrBob, Sep 14 2000]

engrish galore....japanese english http://www.engrish.com
its not haiku..but write any comments on the site on this page.....make sure u have a look at a fair amount of the site though- Roisin [kaz, Sep 14 2000]

Roof Irrigation Cooler http://www.halfbake...Irrigation_20Cooler
Was reminded of this beautifully-written idea... [-alx, Sep 14 2000]

Presidential Haiku http://haiku575.blogspot.com/
[Scott_D, Oct 21 2004]

Start Sentences With Conjunctions http://www.getitwri.../archive/032601.htm
It's acceptable under certain circumstances [DeathNinja, Oct 21 2004]


       A thoughtful idea
Which makes for thoughtful speaking
Mouse clicks on "vote for"
PotatoStew, Sep 16 2000

       I doubt it would fly.
Being thoughtful takes more than
counting syllables.

       Besides, haiku's not
any more beautiful than
other speech patterns.

       Take these sentences,
for instance; they are haiku
if I split the lines.

       Are they more pleasing
with pauses every few words?
I don't see the point.
bookworm, Sep 16 2000, last modified Dec 11 2000

       Case in point: a friend in college came up with a series of "urban haiku"; pieces in haiku form more appropriate to modern life than the fall of a cherry blossom. One of the ones I remember:   

       Give me your money
Give me your money, asshole
Give me your money
bookworm, Sep 16 2000

       I like haiku, it doesn't strain my attention span, as most longer poetry does, which unlike politics, typically contains little gratuitous sex and violence.   

       It did remind me of a poem I wrote after an experience in Albuquerque some years ago. I wasn't going to share it, I didn't want to chog blahgingers idea, but since bookworm broke the ice, I'll go for it - it sounds kinda like haiku, although I think there's too many syllables -   

       Vato, shotgun shouting in Whataburger,
eyes like dull black slate - tatooed trouble.

       Not what ginger had in mind, I suspect, but hey! I'm not a poet!
Scott_D, Sep 16 2000

       [bookworm] by your definition, everything that has ever been written is technically strings of Haikus without the correct spacing....which is obviously false. Your postings above are *not* a bunch of haikus, but if you do not realize that then I am not surprised that you do not see the point.   

       Writing a Haiku takes more than counting syllables. A single thought or image is self contained in those 17 syllables. I remember learning and writing them in grade school and liked them because it is not to hard to write one just as good as your average ancient Japanese poet.   

       Of course the everyday conversational haikus would not have such 'mystical' subject matter, but the elegance of the format would make listening to people a little more bearable. I do agree that it will probably not catch on any time soon, but that does not make it a bad idea.
blahginger, Sep 16 2000

       You're right, blahginger. This idea has value to me simply for its ability to tickle some relatively poorly-exercised brain neurons, regardless of its practicality. I think that's the whole appeal of HB.   

       By the way, bg, when your idol chatters, does it chatter in haiku?
beauxeault, Sep 21 2000

       [Scott_D] Ooh! Someone using "Chog".
hippo, Sep 21 2000

       ----- HalfBakery still
----- fills half my mind. Autumn clouds
----- on the train ride home.
hippo, Sep 22 2000

       another upside to this is more people would actually think before they spoke.
wrenchndmachine, Sep 22 2000

       All speech in haiku.
It would be a blast. Except
No work would get done.
DrBob, Sep 22 2000

       Lets see... School:

I know this is late.
But my dog ate my homework.
Please don't hurt my grade.

Or what about for work (used to work at a grocery store, where kids would get high off nitrous in the back room):

I'm not getting high.
The whipped cream can was broken.
My nose fixed it well.

For high school football coaches (or at least the one at my school):

Get in the endzone!
What is your f@#$ing problem?
You're f@#$ing worthless!
djhotsauce, Dec 09 2000, last modified Dec 10 2000

       Think / three thoughts / in succession
rfalv, Dec 20 2000

       The sun will shine on
While the blind curse the darkness
May you rot in hell

       [apology accepted ;) ]
blahginger, Dec 21 2000

       bookworm, it's true that   

       any words can be haiku   

       if spaced correctly   

       that's what's cool about haiku. you can make anything into a poem. it sounds clever too. you could take a famous novel, say, and rearrange it so the entire book is made up of haikus, without changing the actual text. maybe i'll try it. i'd speak in haiku if i could think quickly enough to arrange them in my head.   

       that said,:   

       These are five haikus   

       That I wrote in a hurry   

       They're kinda funny   

       Pedaling to school   

       At seventeen miles an hour   

       Bugs fly into me   

       I play my guitar   

       On the steps at OBF   

       People stare at me   

       I always sleep late   

       So I often miss classes   

       'Cause I stay up late   

       Four in the morning   

       I'll wake up in just three hours   

       I should go to bed   

       Sunlight shines on me   

       I reach for my sunglasses   

       Sunlight hurts my eyes
mr shrum, Mar 22 2001

       [mrshrum] the main point of the idea is to force you to slow down and think a lot before you say anything. Thinking quickly is not required.
blahginger, Mar 22 2001

       At first I was shocked
That "All Your Base" fit so well.
But it's Japanese.
PotatoStew, Mar 22 2001

       Speak just in Haiku   

       You will bring beauty into   

       Everybody's day.   

       In order to fit "everything that has ever been written" into "technically strings of Haikus," everything that has ever been written would require some slight reworking.   


       In order to fit   

       Everything that has ever   

       Been written into   


       etc etc etc ....
globaltourniquet, Apr 17 2001

       Who let the dogs out?   

       Who let the dogs out? (woof woof)   

       Who let the dogs out?
phoenix, Jul 12 2001

       a ginger moron   

       spamcakes galore fuckwits more   

       shove it shove it shove.   

       ....dammit and i really wanted the extra 'it'.... stupid haikus   

       Roisin- Kazs' sister
kaz, Aug 22 2001

       Buffy had no time
except for those little poems
that sound like a sneeze


       Your half-baked theory
Is silly, but kind of cute
a croissant for you.
Tabbyclaw, Aug 24 2003

       Someone named [Detly]
Baked at work in abundance
Now is Firewalled.

       [Detly] was last seen
On the evening news broadcast
Gun to tech people.

       Cedar once posted
Haiku out of proper form.
[Unabubba] riled.
Cedar Park, Aug 25 2003

       And so if they rhyme I'm pretty sure that's all fine 'Cause now's freestyle time.
boneheadmx, Aug 26 2003


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