Half a croissant, on a plate, with a sign in front of it saying '50c'
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Squeaky Clean.

new tp.
  (+1, -4)
(+1, -4)
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When you go to the dunny for a crap, then wipe, how do you know that your anus is clean? Like everyone else, you check the paper for 'Colour'. With squeaky clean paper you don't have to partake in this disgusting necessity any longer, as this new product 'squeaks' when you wipe and no poo is present. How does it work? The fibres of the paper contain irregularities along their length. When they rub against each other they emit sound (similar to a cricket's wings rubbing together to produce a chirping sound) - which is amplified in the toilet bowl. In the presence of the nasty stuff these vibrations are damped, and no, or limited noise is produced.
the dog's breakfast, Mar 22 2007

Dirty arse detector Dirty_20arse_20detector
by the garlic twins [calum, Mar 22 2007]

[link]






       "partake"
theleopard, Mar 22 2007
  

       just use a wipey.
xandram, Mar 22 2007
  

       But wouldn't the paper squeak every time? I mean, surely, there is some part of your nether region, contacted by the paper, which is poo-free?   

       I'll stick to checking the paper for color, followed up with a sanitary wet-wipe.
Freefall, Mar 22 2007
  

       Ta [theleopard]. No [Freefall], the outer edges would not have enough pressure applied to generate the squeak. I am of course assuming that the user would have sufficient coordination and knowledge of the working area that the majoritory of the scrubbing action would occur 'around the rim'.
the dog's breakfast, Mar 23 2007
  
      
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